Experimental Philosophical Psychology .

Unit II : Lust For Knowledge .

Honestly one of the worst feelings is being able to understand the world so efficiently at a point where I realize how miserable I have become, I just feel empty. Understanding my environment is extremely painful as I realize slowly how humans and their society are, and how horrible some people are. I'm not saying they're all bad and I'm good, I'm saying that there isn't bad or good there's just perspective. If everyone sees the world from the same perspective as mine. Then, they would be committing mass murder, but different people have different views of the world. I have been able to understand most things at an incredibly young age and it just hurts. I wasn't meant to know this but I do. But the mistakes of the present will make your strength in the future, and this is actually one of the reasons of my current depression. Knowing far too much. I overthink every day and I try my best to be the best person In my own perspective. But no, I can't have everything at once. I hate myself, every fucking second I spent being alive if happy, angry, sad or empty, I wanted to take a gallon of bleach and chug it down my throw. It's hidden far in my mind, even the simplest mistakes makes me question my whole ability and knowledge. You know, it takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are, and it even takes longer to realize that it doesn't have to be that way, only after I give up everything, will I finally be able to kill myself, inside the big vast void of emptiness inside me...