Experimental Philosophical Psychology .

XXXIX : Sub-Terminal Transitory State.

It's been a while, I've definitely changed since the last unit, I've grown more mature, and learn to outgrow my past.

This book, is a novel of pure human emotional expression. You get to see me jump between stages of life, or I guess in this case stages of teenage hood. it's gruesome at times, and not at others .

I've learned that life is like a rollercoaster, but I already knew that, I just learned to accept the bad times.

But yet after maturing, scars from my low points in life, where I felt like, an injured animal in a dark forest filled to the brim with things that want my skin, and those things, were nothing less and nothing more but my dark thoughts .

There was no war, it was all between me and my, envy to cease my existence, to take away what god gave me at birth, even though I don't believe In god.

I fell deep down in the depth of hell, picked myself up, and survived.

This Unit is a checkpoint, I'm alive and well, I have been very self-harm free lately, I think that's something to be proud of.

What I hate, is that no one, and I mean no one in my physical surroundings understand the things that inflicted to myself the things that crossed my mind they didn't get it and I don't think they will .

I know, I know, this seems like a normal teenager typical existential crisis, you know maybe it is, maybe if took a second to try and try to relate to me than you'll understand.

Because of how many people are faking having mental disorders, such as depression and anxiety, I as a teenager, a part of the group that fakes these mental problems the most, I have trouble opening up and communicating my problems to my physical surroundings.

I try to give people the experience I long for, by being the " Therapist Friend " because I'm the only person who can do this, I can help others, because I went through things too.

I don't want to sound like some old sage and wise knock-off, but I mean it, I was close to doing things, a little too close for comfort, I'm glad I didn't, I met people that I wouldn't have if I have done those things.

I have no regrets in staying alive; I'm happy and grateful for this gift.

For life, I accept that could quite literally die this second, in the next one, but I'm honestly a little too young to think about natural death causes .

For anyone out there suffering like I did or worst, just know.

It will get better...