Experimental Philosophical Psychology .

Unit XV : External Self-Perspective .

Today I will talk a lot on the exterior side of things. It will be very deformed.

The difference our existence makes, is nothing but a mere bubble of our imagination, life is manipulative, it will lead to you to make the wrong choices.

The freedom of choice, the satisfaction of place of death, the ability of being able to make a choice, the sorrow of not having a choice but making a choice.

Overthinking, is the after effect of a wounded individual who has suffered it's way through life's obstacles, the scars are healing, and that individual is not willing to make the same mistake over again. He feels guilty for being so stupid, and the man who has finally decided to stop being so selfish towards everyone. He started viewing the world from different perspectives; he has made so many mistakes.

He started hating himself for it, he couldn't forget himself for his stupid mistakes even if he was just a kid, he just cannot forgive himself he resented himself, he resented the man who longed for his shadow, after hating himself for so much time the indignation has burned off.

The only thing left is emptiness, he feels empty and so he decided to start writing about it, to perhaps get some help elsewhere. But he was and is too scared to get betrayed, and so he showed his vulnerability to no one, as he was far too scared to be hurt, He thought he was anti-social, but he was just too scared to be hurt. He was terrified of the idea of being betrayed.

He was consumed from the inside by his own void, and started asking himself too many questions, that he simply didn't know the answer. He was overwhelmed by the frustration, and the anxiety.

Then, he became terrified, while healing he realized a spark of disappointment inside the eyes of his close relatives.

He realized how weak he has become and how incapable his will is. He isn't rising up to the very high expectations people have for him, yet again he felt betrayed, by the one person he thought was ok to trust.

He felt worthless afterwards, as if he will never be more than what he is, than he realized he has to accept himself in order to go forward, it took him slot of time to get bandages for those wounds.

Nevertheless unbelievably, that individual has recovered, his wounds healed, but his scars might reopen, we will never know. Only after his recovery did he finally open up to his close attachment individuals, he learned to accept himself like he is.

Now, he has no regrets, all his suffering and torturing was not in vain, all of that pain caused his solidification to be very intense although it will take a while for it to be complete.

Nevertheless, after accepting himself, he still is just as lost as before, and so he decided to write about all that has happened to him, and express it all in words.

Looking for his rightful place in this world, he feels like his death will be in vain no matter the circumstances, Like a poor man living with rich people, He felt betrayed by himself, Like he had faith in himself, he believed in himself, but he failed anyways.

And this individual,

Is me.