Experimental Philosophical Psychology .

Unit XX : Unknown Catalogue .

It's sad, today I finally understood. Whatever what I do, I will never change things, I feel so powerless, so incapable, I don't know what I'm even capable of, I'm scared to find out, too scared to be disappointed. I feel really worthless, a man living for no one but himself, the selfish needs he has to simply leave him at rest. I understand now, I'm just a kid, well generally people realize this only when you weren't a kid anymore. But I feel like nothing, what am I?

I feel so empty, and this time there isn't any void, now there's nothing, I'm not even sure myself, but why do I even exis? I know that everyone is their own protagonist in their own story, but I don't see in anyway how important I am to anyone, If I just disappear, people will just continue on living peacefully. Death is what gives beauty to life, but I guess you should not be sad for the loss, but be happy for the time spent.

I feel like nothing, it's just a couple skills that make me different, I hate it, perhaps I was just lying to myself when I was saying that I'll accept myself? Maybe I was maybe I was not.

I still long for a purpose, I long for the place where I belong, and I'm not any better than these pieces of shit around me, I escape just the way they do, I feel pathetic, like a burden to everyone around me, I hide just in a different way, and different things.

Still I feel guilty, for everything I've done, but I just cannot ignore my hate, it's an emotion I cannot express, if I ever do. I might kill someone, so I just turn it to me, like a mirror facing another mirror, it's an endless fight between the mirror and itself. I still love myself, and I'm planning to be better, or is that just another delusional lie?

I'm lost, I really don't know what to do anymore, I can't go on with this many unanswered questions.

I don't know who I am, and I'm scared to find out, scared of disappointment...