Experimental Philosophical Psychology .

Unit XXXIV : Closer To The Hope, Farther From The Rope.

If I had to describe my writing the best way possible, I'd say that I'd write everything like I was my first, like it was pure emotion, and my also like my last, at a time of my life I thought I was going to take my life away between the time I write each unit.

Therefore, I wrote them like they were my last and at least I'd be satisfied with the end, but writing really helped, and today I kinda kept that habit.

I learned a lot of things, I get better every day, every day I change slightly for the best.

I realized, before I used to cry about the times where I cried, now I cry for the times I laughed.

I realized, that love is not possession, I realized how selfish that was . Love is to appreciate and I really wish from the core of my heart that someone said that to me earlier.

I wish I could restart my life from the beginning with all my knowledge and experience . I could avoid so much pain . but pain is a part of what makes you stronger and more tolerant to it . Funny how the more expose yourself to something the more tolerant you'll to it in the future . the same way stress works.

I took everything for granted, and that made things cool for a while, but now I'm lost, I have no idea what to do, I didn't suffer to get what I wanted, it feels like I'm a city with mass inflation, everything is so hard now.

This feels nice I feel progression, but I still can't knock off that awful feeling.

I used to long to look at the stars and for them look away, but I feel the what not to work for my appreciated resources, yet I cannot bring myself to do it, I feel guilty, I can't do it, I'm not good enough.

Someone asked me "Why don't you seek help" because I cannot need a person, a long time ago I was at my lowest and I needed someone yet no one came, so today I can't need help, I can't rely on anyone. "why don't you ask for help" Showing weakness is not a very good strategy to stay alive. Although I have to keep my neutral image, I want to say my strong but we all know that's overused. In addition, needing someone is the last thing I need I can't have someone seeing how vulnerable I can get.

However, that doesn't stop me from continuing my journey, I can do this by myself, I know it'll be hard, I know it'll be painful.

I failed with and without trying.