Last Unit, I said I've found a blue person, I have now I've seen how blue she really is.
She gave me taste of something I've never tasted before, she embraced the tongue that ate animal feces, with the pure taste of love and care, lack of judgment.
Some people are born with the luxury of trusting their surroundings, not me. I can say with all my heart, I have never been so vulnerable with someone in my life. I'm overjoyed with this feeling. It tastes better than the best and sweeter than the sweetest. I feel like my efforts aren't going to waste. I was truly able to cry, even with all the social conditioning.
But why? Why didn't I get this taste when I was about to do it, at the edge of the world, about to fall down, nothing has ever hurt me more than my own mind. I hate myself for that partly, I was hurting myself, I never got the luxury of allowing myself to be truly and purely vulnerable with someone without being constantly afraid of judgement.
I truly never did, until the day I met her. Some will laugh at me. Some will understand me. I'm not just in love. I've found myself. I've been truly accepted. It's overwhelming.
However, why did I have to wait so long to be embraced. Maybe because people around me knew I was sensitive, just not how much, and to be vulnerable with someone you value that someone's opinion, is like autodestructing. Even a couple words can send me to hell for a solid 6 years, isn't that right?
Why didn't I have someone like that when I was about to kill myself. Maybe I was too. I always comfort people always; I'm the emotional pillar people want to have. But I never thought myself to be the client. and I am today. But that doesn't change.
Some friendly advice. if you have someone you know, that's like me, please be very careful with each word you speak, your pointing a gun at them with your hand on the trigger .
It's not like me to write about love, am I changing? am I no longer who I used to be, this feeling. It's overwhelming...
YOU ARE READING
Experimental Philosophical Psychology .
Poetry-Warning, this story contains a very vile and variable vocabulary, and a violent language, please do not take any offense to this content this is simply my opinion and my point of view, this story contains various suicide and self harm references...
