Know I love you

76. Gave up

TW - suicide

- 11 years ago -
- Miles point of view -

I'm walking home from Dani's house the Winter air is cold against my skin, I have had a bad feeling in my stomach since I got onto my street, I see two cars Mine and Mums that means Dad is out.

Again

I hear dogs barking in the distance and my head starts to pulse with pain, I get my keys out of my pocket and unlock the door but it pushes itself open.

Mum always locks the doors

I walk in and no lights are on the house is cold and the heater isn't on, I tip toe to the kitchen and grab myself a glass of water, I try to call out for Mum but there is no answer. I'm at her and Dads bedroom door when the bad feeling in my stomach gets stronger and knots my organs, I push the door open when I see her.

Her body is limp against the floor and blood covers her, I scream and punch the floor next to her, The weapon she used is in her hand.

The fishing knife my Dad used

I grab the knife and stab it into the wood the thump shakes through me, An envelope is scrunched in her other hand. I open it and it is addressed to me,

My son Miles
I'm sorry, It got too hard your father well..... he.
I know I can't explain myself as to why I did this but understand Miles please, One day you will have the patience to go through the hard times. I ran out of patience Kid, I worked extremely hard for you I did and I know you appreciated it every day but your older now you have the knowledge you can go into that big wide world. You have people who will stand by you like Danielle she has never left and I know she won't leave through this situation.

I can't use excuses I know that, I love you Miles.

And I'm sorry for everything you've had to witness.

I tried to cover your eyes but you somehow peeked through.

I love you.

I drop the letter and cry on her shoulder, Her body is cold and makes me stomach sick, I put the letter in my pocket and run to the closet. I try to call any family members but none of them answer I find the silk blanket Mum loved and lay that on her body.

I slam the front door in anger and get into my car, I drive towards My uncles house and when I get there he is happy and has no idea of what I just saw.

I slam the car door and he notices his friends are behind him with beers in hand,

"Liam Mate come back, Collingwood just started a bash up"

He walks towards me and tries to hug me but my body is shut off.

"Miles mate what are you doing here?

"It's Mum"

His eyes turn worried and he doesn't have a happy expression on his face, He turns back and takes a sip of his beer.

"Did you find her?

I nod my head and he punches the tree that is standing tall next to him.

"Where's ya dad?

"I don't know Uncle, His car wasn't there but she used the fishing knife"

"Fuck, Cmon get in the car"

He pushes me into the car and grabs the keys he speeds off towards our house and when we get there cop cars and an ambulance surround the property.

We get out of the car and walk towards the house, I can see the fishing knife in an evidence bag, Uncle stands closer to me and grabs my arm and looks down.