I didn't sleep last night. I hate myself for it but I was watching Gavi sleep, making sure he didn't have a bad reaction to the pill he took. I sat in the dark with tear stained cheeks.
I roll over to check the time on my phone. 7 a.m.
I get up from the bed careful not to make too much noise. I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, do my hair and makeup then go back out to get dressed. I throw on leggings and a white crop top.
I grab my phone from the bed, and my airpods from my bag. I walk to the door and look at Gavi on the floor before rolling my eyes and walking out.
I take the spare key on the counter and go out the door. I walk with my head down, to the elevator, to back training room and out the door and onto the pitch.
I put my airpods in and start stretching. I do mini shuffles, in and outs again then juggling. I take shots on goal but nothing makes it feel better.
I drop to the ground against the goalpost and burry my face in my hands. Tears gather in my eyes again and I sit there and cry.
I shouldn't have came here.
I should've fucking stayed home.
That's wouldn't have helped either.
Everyone was mad at me back home too.
I want to go home.
I need someone to help me.
I need help.
I don't want to ask for help.
I don't want to seem broken.
I can't keep taking pills to escape it either.
Pedri knows about the pills.
What am I going to say to him.
How am I going to get out of that one.
Gavi's pissed at me.
He doesn't care about me.
I shouldn't have helped him.
But I know what that feels like and it burns.
It hurts.
I helped him like I should've.
I still don't want to see him.
I don't want to talk to him.
Ansu saw me crying.
Ansu knows the drama now.
He can help me. Right?
No, I don't want help.
I can do it myself.
I'm better alone anyway.
I don't need anyone.
I can do it myself.
I don't need anyone.
I argue with myself. I look up still crying and look at the field I'm on. This is home. I tell myself. I need one thing in life, futbol.
I get up from the ground and laugh at myself. I'm crying. No more crying. I kick the soccer ball into the goal then take off running.
No more pity Brylie. I do things for myself, not for anyone else. Badass Brylie is starting again. Don't give a shit Brylie is starting again.
YOU ARE READING
Since we were 7 { Pablo Gavi }
RomanceBrylie, Pedri, and Pablo have been friends ever since they were little, all three of them playing for FC Barcelona. All three becoming professional futbol players, living the dream but also stressful and exposed lives. Struggling to find time for ea...