Since we were 7 { Pablo Gavi }

39. I just want her to be happy

I feel someone shaking and my eyes flutter open. The light hurts my eyes but they focus on a worried Pedri and Gavi. Gavi is standing over Pedri and Pedri has me in his arms holding me.

They both wear worried expressions and they shake there head.

"I'm fine" I say

"We didn't ask if you were okay" Pedri says

"Yeah but you were looking at me like I wasn't- but I am"

"No your not" Gavi speaks up

"Yes I am...guys I'm fine"

"We've been here before" Gavi says and I shake my head rolling my eyes acting as if everything's fine, I'm
tired of acting but I don't want them concerned.

"Gavi it's different this time"

"No it's not...you feel like your drowning again, I know you do" he says and I look away with a sob. I cover my mouth with my hand and close my eyes.

"I feel like I'm drowning and can't escape it anymore, a few weeks ago I would've been able to stop it and put a smile on my face but it's- it gets harder to do that"

Pedri holds me tighter and he looks at Gavi. They exchange a glance and Gavi points to my bag on the bed. The pill bottles.

"It's just medicine" I tell them not looking at them.

"It's not just medicine Brylie, your going...your taking pills again" Gavi says breaking and Pedri shifts next to me

"Again?" He looks at me and I quickly glance at him and look away. "Again" he breathes out and looks away

"Look I'm sorry I just have no one I feel so alone in crowded places, I feel alone everywhere I go I feel like an outcast. The pills make it go away"

"Only because you believe that it makes it go away" Gavi says

"I know...and I do" I whisper as a tear falls down my cheek slowly.

"I'm okay" I say and they scoff "no let me be okay" I start to cry and stand up.

I walk to the corner and pace back and forth. I come to a stop and take a shaky deep breath. I open my mouth to say something but stop myself. I look at the floor and close my eyes. I put my hands to my face and just stand there crying.

I feel someone pull me to there chest and once I'm in his arms I know it's Pedri. He puts his arms around me, one on my waist the other holding my head to his chest. I don't go out of my position, I have my hands to my face but lean against him. We stay there for a minute and I continue to cry, harder and harder.

"I'm not okay" I mumble into my hands. "I need help"

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PEDRI'S POV

Brylie laughs and rolls on the couch in between me and Gavi. She rolls around clutching her stomach. Gavi's doing a good job of cheering her up. Gavi always does a good job of that, making sure Brylie is okay...at all times. At practice sometimes he'll talk about her. He always talks about her. That kids mind runs on 3 things. Futbol, Brylie and me. That's it.

Brylie's been on his mind more and more lately and I can tell. You can always tell when your best friend is worried about something and lately that 'thing' is Brylie.

We are all worried. After this morning I'm especially worried, she admitted she wasn't okay. Never has she done that, not once has she ever said 'I'm not fine' 'I'm hurt' 'I can't do it' 'I give up'. Not once.

Hearing it this morning was heartbreaking, my heart shattered to hear the girl I've loved forever, still love, tell me she's not okay and she's struggling. It broke Gavi too. After she got up and cried I looked at Gavi and saw he was zoned out with his own tears.