THREE - Daniel Ricciardo

Chapter 28 - What's wrong with me?

DANIEL

I watched as Amy ran out of the door and towards the Uber for the night. All I wanted to do was talk to her, explain how sorry I was and move on with the situation. I had no hopes and very little expectations on her taking me back so she would be my girlfriend again. I had crossed the line, my behaviour was unacceptable.

"What the fuck was that!?" Michael screamed at me, gesturing to the car that pulled away with Amy inside. "Mate, you better do some talking before I knock you the fuck out."

"Hey, come on guys." Blake came in between us as Michael's face continued to stare down at me. It was crimson red, his lips tightly squeezed together as he clenched his jaw muscles, grinding his teeth.

"I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Heidi-," I started to speak, stumbling upon every word. Was I drunk? I didn't feel too drunk, I'd only had a couple of beers so far.

"It's always fucking Heidi." Michael moaned as he stepped back from myself and Blake, his hands wildly flailing about as he spoke. "That girl is nothing but toxic! In turn, you've scared the best girl you've ever had away."

I looked down the road, where Amy had rushed off but there was nobody there. The silence filled the streets, the only noises coming from the bar adjacent to us. I looked around to see a plethora of my friends and their significant others, watching, anticipating. Lando looked up from the ground and shook his head in distain.

"How could you do that to her?" He asked solemnly. I understood how close Amy and Lando had become over the short time of knowing each other. He truly looked up to her, respected her.

"Tell me, tell us," Michael shouted before I could answer Lando's question, even though I didn't have the words to fire back at him, "that this is the only time you've seen Heidi recently. As long as you didn't kiss tonight, this may still be salvageable."

My mind went back to 18th May, we'd not long arrived in Barcelona ahead of the Spanish Grand Prix. A whole day went by filled with media and interviews, it was exhausting. The only thing keeping me grounded that day was the lads, who I would see on my breaks and have a laugh and a joke with, breaking up the day from serious interviews and questions relating to my 'downfall' and future within the sport.

And there she was, in the paddock. Chloe, Lance's sister, had visited for the weekend in support of his brother and also to see Michael, Blake and I, considering we were all good friends with her boyfriend, Scotty. Chloe and Heidi are very close friends, so Chloe had invited her to spend the weekend here in Barcelona, preferably so she wouldn't be lonely in the paddock whilst between races.

"Mate, tell us that nothing else happened." Max spoke up and broke me from my gaze. I looked up to the sky and viewed the stars above. How I wish I was a million miles away from being stood here, under the scrutiny of these people. I closed my eyes tightly shut and placed the palms of my hands over my face.

How could I have done this to her? After all this time, she let me into her world. She discussed her darkest secrets and trusted me implicitly with them and I promised her that I wouldn't hurt her. I promised her the world and I fucked it up within a matter of days. When I thought about Heidi, I didn't feel anything. I thought about the couple we used to be and the relationship we used to have. The relationship I didn't value towards the end resulting in the end of it all. And then I thought about mine and Amy's relationship, if you could even call it that. Way before I even asked her to be my girlfriend, everything felt truly right with this girl. She understood me, understood the way I operated and what made my mind tick over. She was funny, beautiful, confident and true to herself. The girl had been through hell but she never dwelled on it, it made her stronger. She never put herself first, always everyone else before her. Most importantly, she made an effort with my friends and with all the other drivers on the grid, which is something Heidi never bothered to do.