I'm your Angel | Pablo Gavi

Do you regret it?

Song: I wanna be yours by Artics Monkeys
The week went by pretty fast after Friday. Me and Lily have "vacation" for two weeks now. We went to the Sagrada Familia, we went seeing a few works of Antonio Gaudi, we went to Camp Nou (were Pedri gave us a private tour :)), we went to La Pedreda and to Casa Batlló. We also slept A LOT and we went shopping. This week was probably the same week as many tourists experience in Barcelona, but we loved it.

Me and Lily still have six months left in Barcelona, but I really miss my mom. I don't think she misses me though... I also miss my friends of course. Everything has a downside in life. This time: I miss America.

I've talked about it with Lily. She said that she felt like a tourist here in Spain, however she does live here. I don't have that problem. I don't know why, but the people in Spain think I'm Spanish... For example: me and Lily went to a restaurant on Tuesday. The waiter started talking to Lily in English. When she did her order, he started talking to me in Spanish. I didn't understand a word, and after, he apologized. 'Ooh sorry! I thought you were Spanish.' it was a bit strange... but the other day: a random teenager asked my autograph in Spanish as well. And guys keep asking my number: in Spanish. And last but not least: if the next runway show is gonna be organised by mr. Dallas, then I'll be modeling: for Spain.

Talking about the runway: Aurora hasn't said anything about it this week, nor did mr. Dallas or Nicole. Maybe it's cancelled... that would be a bummer, I was kinda excited for that show!

Nicole did text me and Lily if we wanted to grab lunch with her today. Of course we said yes! Lily has already made a whole plan how we can get information from Nicole about the next shows. She already prepared questions for her and for me, and a plan to avoid looking suspicious. Personally I think it's a little over the top, but if Lily has a plan, you can't stop her.

I didn't see Pedri a lot this week. I was in the city all the time and his training schedule was super busy this week. And when Pedri's schedule is busy, Pablo's schedule is busy as well. I haven't seen him and I haven't spoken to him this whole week. To be honest: I kind of avoided him. After that kiss... I just felt a little anxious. I'm still afraid someone might took a picture. I'm also afraid that Pedri will find out. Pablo wouldn't tell him, but I was so stupid to tell Lily. We did a pinky promise, and Lily NEVER breaks a pinky promise. But when Lily is drunk, she can't control herself. So the secret isn't 100% safe.

Pablo reached out for me though. He called me, texted me, asked me to come over. I just said I was busy, tired or "not in the mood". All excuses. On one hand I just regret that I kissed him. I mean, what if anyone finds out? What if we actually fall in love but we break up? The rest of my stay in Barcelona would be incredibly awkward. And what if we do work out? Well, I'm leaving in six months and that would be super painful for both of us. But on the other hand I love the fact that I kissed him. For ones in my life, I followed my heart, not my brain. When I think about that kiss, I just feel so amazing: as if I'm living in a dream. But unfortunately, my brain is not shutting up about aaaaall the problems this will cause if anything goes wrong...

So guess what? The whole week I kept overthinking and overthinking and overthinking... and I still haven't made any decisions yet.

Tuesday Morning:

I woke up with my phone buzzing. I grab it from my night desk and try to sit up straight. Who the hell calls me at 9AM in the morning? That actually sounds like a reasonable time to call somebody... but I am on vacation (sort off), so I usually wanna sleep till 11AM. It's my mom. Immediately I pick up the phone. 'Hello?' I ask with my sleepy voice. 'Hey honey! How are you?' my mom asks. I put my hand on my head, I have a huge headache all of a sudden. 'I'm good. Why did you call?' I ask and I lay down again. 'Well, I have a little bit of bad news.' I moan. 'No... what is the news?' I ask. 'My flight has been cancelled.' my mom says.