I'm your Angel | Pablo Gavi

"I thought you recognized fake-sleeping"

Song: Lose you to love me by Selena Gomez

The warm cloth on my face is very itchy, but according to Sira this was necessary for the ultimate spa experience.

Yes, I went to the spa-appointment. Don't ask me why. Sira was just as usual today: super nice, so nice that it feels a little awkward. Amila was a bitch as usual! I mean, Amila was.........
not the kindest.

'Breathe ladies. Feel your inner peace taking over yourself. Let it happen, let all the negative energy go into the water. Keep breathing, in and out...'
We've been lying in a bath with incredibly cold water for half an hour now. It was so cold that I couldn't even breathe at first. A woman then put a warm cloth over our heads and then started this vague meditation. I hear Sira and Amila sigh now and then.

I can't focus myself. I keep thinking about my "date" with Jude. Is there something there? Or is it just friendship, but just a super attractive guy? It's hard to estimate, and Pablo doesn't make it much better either. He has "let go" me.

Somehow I'm happy with that, finally rest, finally moving on! But deep in my mind I hope he won't let me go, that he will hold me forever. That feels safe, familiar. It's a thought I don't want to give in to. What if he does move on? Then I'm really pathetic, thinking about him in this stupid bath so much that I hope he still has feelings for me after all. Of course, as soon as she arrived, Amila marked her "territory" with the comment: 'I'm going to Pablo again tonight! I really can't wait to see him!'

I try to respond with as little emotion as possible, but that is sometimes difficult. Today I am emotionless, or so it seems.

'Very well done girls. For those who want, you can now follow the extensive treatment. Then you first go into a mud bath and then a warm shower. For the shortcut, the sauna is the next step.'

I take a look at the other girls. I prefer to go to the sauna now and then go home. But I don't go to the sauna alone, so I'll do what the group does.

'I think I'm going for the extended version.' Amila says immediately. Sira shrugs. 'Actually, I feel like a sauna. Nina?' Now they're both looking at me. 'The sauna sounds good.' I say. 'Okay then we'll split up!' Sira says and together we walk to the sauna's.

Of course I don't know Sira very well. We meet and right away the next time we saw each other there was some kind of weird argument going on. I just hope it doesn't get uncomfortable.

The sauna is super hot when we get in. Sira and I take a seat in the small room. After the cold bath we both wrapped a towel around us. The woman who accompanied us said that we could also sit naked in the sauna, but we both think that is going a bit too far. It's been quiet between us for a while, when Sira sighs deeply.

'Can I ask you something?' she asks. I look to the side at Sira, but she doesn't look at me. She stares blankly ahead. 'Sure.' I say. 'Do you think it's weird that me and Ferran are dating?' she then asks. I'm a bit puzzled by this question.

'No of course not.' I say. Sira sighs. 'Yesterday he scored ... and then he made an S with his hands.' she says.

'Of course everyone has an opinion that my father is the coach. Sometimes I'm just afraid I'm the only one who doesn't see that he might be using me.' she says. Now she looks my way. I look at her and put my hand on hers. I don't know why I do that, it just feels natural now.

'I love him very much, and I think he's really in love with me... but what if all those people are right?' she says. 'They aren't.' I say and I smile. 'I can see the way he looks at you. Trust me, he's in love.' I say. I mean every word I say. I seriously think Ferran is really in love with Sira. And if he isn't, he's very stupid and a damn good actor. He is neither.