Behind The Mind - Law And Order : Special Victims Unit (Rollisi)

Page 33 : A Past Reminder

Fin pov

I needed ro hear how Amanda was doing, I'm beyond happy she is alright, still I'm worried about her, but I still get flashbacks of her laying there on the cold sement, luckily I was in time still it's hard to see your firend from all this years in pain.

I love to talk to Amanda, hear how she is. Enjoying time with her family seeing how safe she is. Makes me feel at peace.

I love that Carisi is her husband, he takes so good care of her and being there for her all the time. Who knew he was the one, she would marry all those years and have a child together.

I knew I was better but, still I needed to see and know for myself.

Liv told me about carisi taking care of her fiscally and mentally also at times of need and in pain. He is gentle with her when she wants and that is what I love about their relationship, it's all I want for her. She is like a sister to me. She is my baby sister and I would take care for her till the end of days.

When Amanda was four months pregnant, I was so angry at myself for not arriving earlier or helping her sooner, I was at the bar drinking the memories away. At night my nightmares was taunting me of being late and seeing her being raped. I would come at night and Pboebe was there for support. She told Liv and Amanda, I also talked to them about my pain especially Liv, since it was hard to look Amanda in the eyes during that time now I'm better.

Sometimes it was so hard, I arrived at 2am in the morning to Amanda apartment and Sonny would open, and I would see Amanda sleeping, safe or at times she was awake giving me a hug or offering something to drink.

All I saw at that time was her pain in her eyes that I saw that night, still I see but it's way better then it was before.

I look at her sitting with me I am grateful for her and held her tide. My baby sister I'm glad she is safe and healthy and most of all happy.

Amanda pov

I looked at Fin, I knew he was better since what he was months ago. I was only 4 months pregnant with Waylen when I was almsot raped. He saved me and saw me laying there.

I remembered how he was a week after that, late for work, always at the bar drinking I had to help Fin and talked to him, seeing him like that broke me.

Sonny even invited him over to us, just to see me, and that I was alright. I never saw that on him. All the years I was his partner, this took him hard I knew he had pain and was burnt completely.

Sometimes it was so hard, he arrived at 2am in the morning to me at my apartment and Sonny would open, and I would see be sleeping, or at times I was awake giving him a hug or offering him something to drink for the night before he goes back, then we let Phoebe know.

Liv told me how he reacted at work, she even asked him to get counseling, Liv told me along with Pboebe, what he saw since he spoke to them, how he saw me laying there crying and half naked. I knew it was hard.

He spoked to me but, it was hard to talk to me or look me in the eyes at times it got better, he was better and now he is much better still I knew he was having memories of that day and he pops in to see or check on me, that is how I know he is healing everyday.

He comes over alot now, to check upon me and Sonny, and yet I know mostly me, he was always there for me in need like a brother I always wanted. A sister I had and she was far from that but, Fin was like an actual brother to me and still is. He was scared that he lost me, still he gets me out of troubles and safes me in the mist of it all. My big brother.

I love Fin completely, I enjoy when he visits and just talked to Dominick about me, he even visted last night to check on Waylen he held him and rocked him to sleep. He enjoys time with Jesse and Billie and loves to take them for ice-cream and to the park my girls adores him.

Yet, seeing him in pain from that day with me. Liv told me he had nightmares of them raping me since he is late in his dreams, and I keep telling him he wasn't, he was on time on que. It somehow help him but, also I didn't knew how to help.

Still seeing him here, I was happy. He is safe and enjoys our family time.

"So how are things with Phoebe?" I asked smiling

"Well, you know Amanda. She is my rock." he told and I smiled at him.

"I'm happy Fin." I told smiling as he smiled with me.

"Well, I am finish here. I have a class in an hour. I'll see you later." I told standing up placing a hand onto his shoulder seeing him smile at me.

"I better get going as well. It's so warm in here." he says as I agreed we walk out together as Liv and Dominick came out.

"You were great." Dominick told kissing me as I smiled at him following

"Still I was accepting more." I told disappointed as they laugh.

"Maybe next time, on a different case." Liv told as Dominick agreed.

"Maybe." I told laughing as the four of us walked out.

Fin and Liv greeted me, as we stand by my car as Dominick hugged as kiss me. "See you later." he told smiling, I smiled back.

"Bye." I told as Liv climbed in her car, Fin in his. Dominick helped me in mine as I waved at them driving off.

"Drive safely." I asked as he nodded closing my door, I saw him climb in as we both drove off behind each. When we head different directions we honked for each. And I drove off back to Fordham and my students.

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Photos from law and Order svu and behind the scenes.