Psychotic Love (a mafia love story)

Chapter 30

LUCA'S POV

I've been lying with Echo in my arms for an hour now. She's sleeping and I'm dreading the moment she wakes.

Last night came to a painful end. She knows something's wrong. I wanted to have sex with her, but when she was telling me how much she trusts me I started to feel guilty. She shouldn't trust me because I'm lying to her. I have been for two weeks now, but it's only been to keep her safe. I know she won't see it that way though.

I also feared having sex with her. I didn't want it to change the way I feel about her. Nearly every woman I've had sex with has been tossed to the side afterward. I don't want that to happen with Echo, but I know myself. No woman has ever satisfied me. I've always been left wanting something more, but I could never find it within them.

Echo's different. She's the only woman to ever even make me feel emotions like guilt and fear. She's one of the few people I've lied to. That means a lot because I lie to no one. Not unless I dread their reaction to the truth. Hers to her dying mother, I dread it deeply. I can't tell her.

I look down at her. She's awake now, staring into blank space.

"Are you okay?"

She nods. After what happened last night she only gives me short replies or head gestures. I don't like it. I want her to talk to me, but I can't ask that of her when I'm not doing the same.

"I'm going to go shower. Are you coming with me?"

She shakes her head. I plant a soft kiss on her forehead before sliding from underneath her.

I shower and head to my office. When I enter, Dario stands leaning against my desk.

"Explain to me the reason you are in my office without my permission, before I break your fucking face."

"When are you going to stop treating me like one of your guards, and start treating me like the only person you can truly trust?"

He's right I should treat him better but I absolutely refuse when he acts the way he does. He thinks I'm reckless. Well, Dario doesn't even fucking think. It's almost as if there's only space between his ears.

"Whenever you stop acting like a fucking junkie and make this business your top priority."

He laughs. "I'm not even high right now, a little tipsy, but not high. And this mafia is my top priority. The fact that you even question that pisses me off, frankly."

"Oh yeah? Well, your existence pisses me off, Dario. I suggest you tell me what you want."

"Arturo Marchetti, haven't heard a single thing from him. I thought he would have made a move by now. Everything is running smoothly, but I am here on Echo's behalf. Her mother has been in the hospital for a week now, and things aren't going well. You need to tell her."

"Tell me what? What's wrong with my mom, Luca?"

Echo pushes through the cracked door. This is just fucking amazing.

Her hair is tied into a wet bun on top of her head, and she wears one of my white T-shirts. It falls to her mid-thigh. Her eyes dart back and forth between mine, looking for an answer behind them.

I can't fix my mouth to say anything to her. I don't want to lie, but I certainly don't want to tell her the truth. I don't want to tell her that her mother has cancer and I've known that for two weeks. I can't tell her that she's terminal and I've taken away a lot of the little time she has left to spend with her.

It's fucking killing me.

"Your mother is fine, Echo. She got a little sick, but she's getting better."

"Please don't lie to me, Luca. If there is something wrong with her I need to know, now. Please, tell me the truth."

She begs me for the truth and I want to give it to her, but I don't want to lose her. I can't let her leave.

Before I can open my mouth to tell her another lie, Dario spills.

"Your mother has stage 4 terminal breast cancer, and she's been hiding it from you for months, and Luca has been withholding that information from you for two weeks."

I would wring his neck but the fact that Echo now knows everything is eating me alive.

She lets out a laugh of disbelief. "Dario, you're fucking with me, right?"

He says nothing in response.

"Of course, you're not, because all things bad are bound to come my way. I-I can't fucking believe this."

Her laughter turns into a cry. "And you, you've been lying to me for two weeks. Pretending like everything is fine, while my mom suffers alone. I can't believe I almost gave myself to you last night. I thought I could trust you. I thought you'd never lie to me, and you'd always have my best interest at heart."

"Echo-"

"JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME SPEAK FOR ONE SECOND. Stop cutting me off and molding things into the way you want them to be. Stop trying to make me feel the way you want me to. "

Her sudden outburst stops me in my tracks. I've never seen her this angry before. I don't know how to respond to her anger, so I do nothing. I fear that I will hurt her if I do react.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? What could possibly stop you from telling me my mom is dying?"

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to leave."

As those words leave my mouth I realize how selfish I sound, but it doesn't matter. I'd sound like the most selfish asshole on earth if it means I can protect her.

"Luca, you couldn't put your psycho obsession for me to the side for one second so I could be with my mother?"

"Echo, you don't understand, this isn't about me wanting you to myself. I'm trying to protect you."

"Protect me? Are you fucking serious? I HATE YOU. I ALWAYS WILL."

I do nothing but stare blankly at her. Those words hurt. They weigh heavy on my heart. I know I said I didn't care about how she felt about me, but I lied because I want nothing more but for her to love me. I want her to love me the way I love her. But she doesn't, and I'm not going to beg her to.

"Leave then, if you hate me so much, then fucking leave. Nearly everything that I've done over these past few months has been for you, and you appreciate none of it."

"You think I appreciate you ruining my life-"

I feel a dark rage creep up on me and before I know it I've grabbed her throat, squeezing it tightly in my hand.

"I SAVED YOUR LIFE. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT."

She closes her eyes tightly and clutches onto my hand. Dario tries to intervene but I push him back.

"Your life was fucked way before I met you, and we both know that. If anyone ruined your life it would be your shitty drunk father and your mother who does whatever he tells her to."

"Fuck you," she manages to say.

"No, fuck you. I've given you everything. An opportunity to get your work seen, money, my fucking love, and I did it all so blindly. Nothing's different or special about you. I don't know why I ever convinced myself that there was. Leave, Echo. If you hate me, leave."

A thick glob of saliva splatters into my face. "FUCK YOU," she screams.

I release her from my grip just before the thought of hurting her reaches my head. She doesn't hesitate to get out of the door.

I walk over to Dario and without warning, I punch him across the face. My fist collides with his jaw so hard that I have to shake the ache away from my hand.

Dario stumbles before spitting blood and saliva from his mouth.

"What the fuck!" He shouts holding his jaw." She deserved to know. That's not something you could have kept from her and expect everything to be okay."

He's not wrong, but I gave him an order. I specifically told him not to say anything.

"Get a guard to wait for her outside," I say before walking away.