Psychotic Love (a mafia love story)

Chapter 32

LUCA'S POV

A day has passed since Echo left. I know I said I would never let her leave, but I felt like I had to. She always hated me, but I knew she'd hate me forever if I made her stay.

Last night was long and restless. The pillow that she'd used for months still carries her pheromones. I hugged it all night with thoughts of her spinning in my head. Fuck that stupid pillow. All I wanted was her in my arms like she had been for the past three months.

The idea of something happening to her kept intruding my mind. That's the reason I didn't want her to leave.

Echo doesn't know for sure, but I inserted a microchip into her thigh the day she ran off with her ex. That's how I knew she was at home the day she called me for help.

I check her location nearly every second of the day. She's been at Grandview General Hospital since she left. The chip picks up her vitals too. I think she's sleeping right now. Her heart rate is slower than usual.

I can't sit here and watch her all day. I have work to do. Besides, she said she hates me, so why don't I hate her? Why does my heartbeat pause every time hers rises or slows too much? Why haven't I stopped caring for her? My love is the reason she's in danger anyway.

If I hadn't been so loud about my feelings for her at that event, maybe Romano wouldn't have overheard. He wouldn't have spread that information if it didn't get to him. I don't know if Arturo Marchetti has any plans of taking Echo, but I planned to keep her concealed until I knew.

As much as I want to kidnap her again, I can't. Suddenly I do care about her feelings. It wouldn't feel right if I had her here wanting to love her, but she only hates me.

I regret what I said to her. I love her, and I will continue to do so until my heart stops beating. I would give up all that I have for her, that's how special she is to me. I only said otherwise because I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me.

My best bet is to watch her for a couple of months. If everything blows over, I'll leave her be and she'll be able to live the life she wants. As much as I hate the idea of living without her, I want her to be happy, even if it means I can't be in her life.

•••••

I told myself I'd stop watching her, but I can't. For hours my eyes have been glued to the green dot on the screen, waiting for her to move. She's still at the hospital. I've tried getting myself to work, but I just can't.

A knock on my door breaks my attention from the screen. I hope that dot stays green, red means she's dead.

"Come in."

In walks Adele with a plate of food.

"Where's Echo, lunch is ready for her. I've checked the whole house for her."

I get up from my chair and make my way over to Adele.

"She's gone, but I'm starving, so I'll take the food."

"Gone? Luca, this is the second time she's left. What's going on? I thought you two were okay. I thought she was happy here. Weren't you happy? What happened? I thought you two were good for each other."

"She hates me, Adele," I say lowly. When I think about her feelings for me, I want to fall apart. I hate that I care so much. I never did before.

"Well, what'd you do? You had to have done something because she loves everyone. Even Dario, who does nothing but taunt her all day." Adele lets on a soft laugh. The kind that could bring a bit of warmth to your heart. But when you're missing your better half. Not even the warmest laugh can soothe your aching heart.

I sigh. "I didn't tell her about her dying mother in order to keep her from leaving." I almost feel ashamed.

Adele stares at me blankly. If I were still a young boy she'd probably scold me. Instead, she rubs her temple and gives a big huff.

"Luca, in the years that I've been here, I've seen all of the absolute stupidity you've carried out, and I can tell you that's about the stupidest thing you could have ever done."

"I know, but she hated me before that."

I'm pretty sure I fucked everything up when I killed Noah. I still don't regret it to be frank.

"You think she hates you?"

"I don't have to think anything, she said so."

Adele shrugs. "Maybe she just said it in the spur of the moment. I don't think she truly hates you."

"She's said it multiple times, and she's meant it every time."

"Oh, Luca." She shakes her head. "I think a part of her wants to love you, but you make it impossible for her to let herself love you. How do you expect her to react when you do the things you do to her?"

Her words circle my head. I know I don't treat her right all the time. I just get so angry with her disobedience and then I lose control. The only thought that I have when she defies me is getting her to where she doesn't do it again. Whatever it takes.

I wanted to work on that. I wanted to be better for her. Learn to tolerate the things she does and communicate instead of hurting her. It seems too late now.

Adele gives me a pitiful look and leaves my office.