My Best Friend [H.S]

Chapter Forty Six

I woke up about twenty minutes ago but I've still been lying here. I know Harry's awake, I heard him. I just know that we're gonna have to talk about last night. If he even remembers. I hated seeing him cry or even knowing he's cried. It tears my heart up. I know he's sorry but I just can't bring myself to get over what happened yet.

I huff and throw the blankets off of me. I've got to face him sooner or later. My feet padded across the floor as I grabbed a hoodie and threw it on over my tank top. I left my room and walked down the hall into the kitchen and living room. Harry was leaning against the island with his phone in his hand.

"morning," I said, my voice small and quiet.

he looked up and set his phone down on the counter.

"Hey, morning." He said awkwardly.

I opened the fridge and grabbed a container of blueberries and sat down at the island stool.

"I'm sorry about last night." He spoke.

I looked at him as I ate another blueberry.

"It's fine."

he came closer to me and sat down next to me on the other stool. I tried to avoid his stare but it was practically impossible. his green eyes were staring down mine.

"I should explain what happened." He sighed running his hand through his messy hair.

I stayed silent, nodding my head to signal for him to continue.

"I don't wanna be friends Ellie." He admitted.

I tried to ignore the sting of his words. i had just gotten him back, I'm not ready to lose him again.

"I can't just be your friend when I know what we were before." He continued.

I thought back to our relationship. so long awaited yet so short lasting. I wanted to say something, anything, I just didn't know what.

"last night I just couldn't take it anymore." He shook his head, "I couldn't take the thought of you being with someone else. I need you."

"harry...I can't. I can't just forget what you did so easily." I said.

He twisted the rings on his fingers, biting his lip anxiously. "I know what I did was messed up, Ellie. And I'm sorry for all of it."

"I don't know if I can trust you anymore." I admitted quietly.

he pressed his lips together.

"then ill earn your trust back." He said.

I thought about it for a moment. He took my hand in his, running his thumb along my knuckles making my heart jump.

if I let him back in, it could end in me getting hurt again and possibly damaging Harry and I's friendship even more. But at the same time what if everything goes good? I know everything he did and I can tell he's genuinely sorry. Giving him another chance could be good for us.

"Okay, but, we take it slow okay?" I agreed.

His eyes lite up and a smile spread across his face.

"Whatever it takes." He nodded.

He scooted closer to me hesitantly. "Can I kiss you?"

I nodded.

He cupped my face gently in his hands and inched closer to me. The anticipation of kissing him was knawing at my stomach as our lips brushed against each other. I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips against his.

my body instantly relaxed against him, feeling at home again. my fingers tangled into his hair, feeling the soft curls beneath my finger tips.

"fuck, I missed you." He whispered as he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.

I couldn't help but smile. "I missed you too, harry."

he smiled at me, dimples visible. he pressed another kiss to my lips, gently grasping my jaw. his tongue brushed against my bottom lip asking for entrance. I pulled away and gave him a look.

"slow, remember?" I reminded him.

I didn't wanna take this too far. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't risk it.

I could tell it hurt him that I was too afraid to go any further but he nodded anyway.

"of course, yeah, slow." He said pulling away from me.

I reached my hand to his face to brush a stray curl out of his eyes and let my hand rest on his cheek. I pecked his lips before cuddling up to him. he let out a content sigh and wrapped his arm around me.

"you know, when you were gone over the summer I would have these dreams about you." Harry spoke.

"What happened?" I asked.

"It was like I was reliving these memories of you and me. Then I would wake up and remember how I messed things up." He explained.

I frowned at him. "It's okay, I'm here now."

I ran my fingers through his hair soothingly as we sat together for what felt like hours.

***

The next day, Harry and I spent together too. He slept over at my place and we watched old rom- com's all day until eight pm. We crawled out of bed and got ready for the frat houses annual back to school party.

"Ellie! Come here love, we missed you!" Louis said with a grin plastered across his face as he held his arms out to me.

I laughed and accepted his hug, stepping into his arms. Niall quickly joined our hug making it a small group hug. I sighed contently. I needed this hug.

"I missed you guys too." I smiled at the both of them as we all let go of each other. 

"So you and Harry huh?" Louis smirked.

I blushed slightly, looking away. "Not exactly..."

Harry finally caught up with me, wrapping his arm around my waist as he came to stand beside me.

"Hey guys."

"Wassup Harry." Niall said.

I looked over the big crowd, seeing all the people. Everything felt fuzzy when my eyes landed one specific person. What was he doing here?

Flash backs ran through my mind, my hurt stopping. I felt Harry's breath fanning over my neck as he leaned down to whisper into my ear.

"What's wrong?"

I tried to hide the way my hands were shaking and my heart was racing.

"I-" I couldn't even finish my sentence before I ran away from him, rushing to the bathroom.

I slammed the door shut and fell in front of the toilet bowl, emptying my stomach into it. I sat back up on my knees, wiping my mouth with some toilet paper before flushing the toilet.

I heard a knock at the door making me turn my head around with fear.

"Someone's in here!" I yelled over the music.

I watched as the doorknob slowly turned until it clicked open. I expected it to be Harry standing there but it wasn't. It was the person who haunted my nightmares.

"Hey darling, stray from the party?" Tommy spoke, a grin present on his face.