Girlfriend? For Hire! [BL]

Chapter 53

Wyatt's Point of View
 
Pagtapos ng gabi na 'yon, hindi nawala sa isip ko ang sinabi ni Regie. Bigla ko rin na-realize na simula no'ng nangyari sa'min ni Aiden ay naging malabo na rin ang relasyon naming dalawa na magpinsan.
 
Hindi ko naman masisisi si Regie dahil valid naman talaga ang galit niya sa'kin. Ginago ko lang naman dati ang taong mahal niya, kung siguro sa akin nangyari 'yon, malamang na magiging gano'n din ang pakikitungo ko sa kaniya.
 
Tanggap ko naman ang nagawa kong mali, pero sana naman makita rin niya o nila ang pagsisisi ko. Sana rin ma-feel nila ang effort na ginagawa ko at ang mga bagay na handa kong gawin para bumalik sa'kin si Aiden.
 
Hindi ko na alam kung paano i-express pa ang sarili ko sa kanila, kung paano ko pa mapatutunayan sa kanila na totoo ang nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya. Hindi naman na ako bata, alam ko na kung ang feelings ko ay panandalian lang o hindi.
 
I hope that they will notice my efforts, and I also hope that things can get back to the way they were before, including the closeness between Regie and me.
 
The next day, I threw myself into work, hoping it would help me clear my head. Hindi ko pa alam kung paano harapin si Aiden. Pagtapos din ng nangyari, nahiya na ako humarap sa kaniya ulit. Hindi ko alam kung anong mukha ang ihaharap pa sa kaniya.
 
Days turned into weeks, and before I knew it, it had been a month since I last saw Aiden. I tried texting him, calling him, but there was no response. I even reached out to Luca, but he was just as unresponsive.
 
I couldn't believe it when I found out that Aiden disappeared after our fight. I had so many questions I wanted to ask him, but it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with me.
 
Gusto ko siya sundan sa California ngunit natabunan ako ng mga gawain, kaya naman wala akong choice kun'di tapusin lahat ng gawain ko bago siya sundan doon.
 
Matapos ang ilang linggo, sa wakas natapos na rin ang paghihintay ko. It has been 2 months since I last saw Aiden, and I knew I had to see him in person to talk to him and to know if he was doing fine. So, I took a week off work and hopped on a plane to California. As soon as I landed, I went straight to Aiden's apartment. But when I got there, the place was empty. It was as if he never lived there.
 
How did I know where he lived? Actually, matagal ko na alam kung saan naninirahan si Aiden dito sa California because I hired someone to look for him. Noong nagtatalo ang utak ko, whether to fly here or stay in the Philippines, as my cousins said. But it was just a week, and after knowing where Aiden lived, I asked him to fly back to the Philippines.
 
I asked around, trying to figure out where he could have gone, but no one seemed to know. It was like he had vanished into thin air. 
 
Should I have rehired someone to look after Aiden before flying here to California so I knew right away where to find him? Damn.
 
It was only after a week of searching that I finally found out he had gone back home to his parents' house.
 
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag matapos no'n, akala ko kasi, hindi ko na ulit siya makikita. Damn. Iniisip ko pa lang yo'n ay parang gusto ko na maiyak.
 
I drove up to Aiden's house, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. It had been months since we'd seen each other, and I wasn't sure what to expect. Would he even want to talk to me? Would he have moved on? I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
 
Aiden's parents opened the door and smiled at me. "Oh... you're Wyatt, right?" His mother asked.
 
I nodded and gave off a smile, "Yes, ma'am, I am." I answered.
 
"It's so good to see you. Aiden's in the living room, you can go on in," his father said.
 
"Thanks," I said, feeling a little awkward.
 
Aiden's parents welcomed me with open arms and led me to the living room, where I saw Aiden sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. He looked up, and our eyes met. For a moment, everything else faded away, and I felt that familiar pull toward him.
 
"Hey, how's it going?" I asked, taking a seat next to him.
 
Mukhang nagulat si Aiden nang makita ako ngunit wala siyang sinabi na kahit ano. He just stared at me with a neutral expression for a few seconds. Finally, he put his phone down and said, "I'm good. Just hanging out."
 
We made small talk for a while, but it was clear that something was off. As soon as Aiden's parents left to go shopping, I knew it was my chance to talk to him alone.
 
"Hey," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Long time, no see."
 
Aiden shrugged. "Yeah. What brings you here?"
 
"I just wanted to catch up. It's been too long," tanong ko. "So, how've you been?" I asked, trying to break the tension.
 
"I've been fine," Aiden replied, looking away. "But...I don't really see the point of why you flew here, Wyatt. We broke up for a reason, you don't have to make an effort."
 
I felt a pang of hurt but tried not to let it show. "I know. But maybe we can talk about it and figure things out."
 
Aiden sighed. "I don't know. I've moved on, Wyatt. I don't want to go back to that."
 
Parang kinurot ang puso ko sa narinig.
 
"What, to us?" I asked, feeling desperate.
 
"To the fighting, the drama. I can't do it anymore," he answered, shaking his head.
 
"I know, I know," I said, feeling frustrated. "But I've changed, Aiden. I've worked on myself, and I think we could make it work."
 
Aiden looked at me skeptically. "You've changed? Really? Because last time I checked, you were still the same person who couldn't handle their emotions."
 
I gritted my teeth. "Look, Aiden, I know things have been awkward between us lately, but I really miss us. I was hoping we could talk things out and maybe get back to the way things were before."
 
Damn. Paano ko ba mapalalambot ang puso niya? I just wanted to come back together, but why can't he give it to me?
 
Aiden sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Wyatt, I appreciate that you want to fix things, but I'm not sure that's possible. It's too little, too late. I don't want to get hurt again, Wyatt. I can't trust you. And I don't think we're good for each other. Every time we try to get close, we end up arguing or hurting each other."
 
I felt my heart sink at his words. "But Aiden, we've been through so much together. Can't we work through this?"
 
Damn. Please, Aiden.
 
Aiden shook his head. "I don't know, Wyatt. I just don't think it's worth it. I don't want to keep going through this cycle of getting close and then pushing each other away. It's not healthy."
 
"I understand that," I said, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. "But please, can't we just talk about it? Maybe we can find a way to start fresh."
 
Aiden shook his head. "I don't think so, Wyatt. I'm sorry."
 
I felt a lump form in my throat as I realized that Aiden was really serious about not wanting to reconcile. "Okay," I said quietly, "I understand. I just wish things could be different."
 
"Sorry."
 
Gusto kong umiyak.
 
I heaved a sigh, feeling defeated. "Fine. If that's what you want. But just know that I still care about you, Aiden. And I always will."
 
We sat in silence for a few moments before Aiden spoke up again. "Hey, I'm sorry if I'm being too harsh. I just don't want to lead you on or give you false hope."
 
I nodded, trying to keep my emotions in check. "Yeah, I get it. I should probably go."
 
As I got up to leave, Aiden stood up as well, looking away. "Goodbye, Wyatt. Take care, okay?"
 
I nodded, feeling a lump in my throat as I walked out the door. This was not the outcome I had hoped for, but maybe it was for the best.
 
I left the house, feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. It was like we were in two different worlds, unable to bridge the gap between us. Maybe we were never meant to be together. But it still hurt knowing that the person I loved didn't want me anymore.
 
As I walked to my car, I heard Aiden's voice calling out to me.
 
"Wyatt, wait."
 
I turned around, my heart racing. Maybe he'd changed his mind, maybe he wanted to talk more.
 
Aiden came up to me, his expression softening. "Look, I don't hate you or anything. I just don't think we can be together again. It's too painful for both of us. And I just went out to tell you this because I feel like I was carrying a big thing on my chest."
 
I felt a glimmer of hope. "But maybe we can still be friends?"
 
Aiden nodded. "Yeah, I think that's possible. We were friends before we started dating, after all."
 
I smiled, feeling a sense of relief. "Okay. Friends it is."
 
We said our goodbyes, and I drove away, feeling a mix of sadness and contentment. Maybe it wasn't the ending I wanted, but at least we had found some kind of closure. And who knows, maybe in the future we'd find our way back to each other. For now, though, I was just glad to have him in my life in some capacity.
 
Umiyak ako pag-uwi sa apartment na nirentahan ko. Kung kanina ay nagagawa ko pang ngumiti, ngayon ay hindi na.
 
Bagsak ang aking balikat habang binubuksan ang pintuan ng apartment, pagpasok ko sa loob ay agad na bumagsak ang mga luha ko.
 
Kung hindi lang ako naging makasarili noon, baka kami pa rin hanggang ngayon. Kung hindi ko sinira ang tiwala niya, baka sakali na bumalik pa siya sa'kin.
 
Dahil sa naging usapan namin ay mas lalo ko pang na-realize lahat ng pagkakamaling nagawa ko. Pero wala na akong nagawa pa kun'di ang umiyak na lang at ibato ang sarili sa alak.
 
Umalis ako sa California, matapos ang ilang araw. Muli kong binagsak ang sarili ko sa pagtatrabaho para kahit na paano ay mawala siya sa isip ko. Tuwing uuwi ako ng bahay, umiinom ako ng alak para antukin ako agad dahil gusto kong iwasan ang pag-iisip sa kaniya. Dahil din sa kadalasan kong pag-inom ay humiwalay na ako ng bahay kina Lolo.
 
I know I was the one who suggested we be friends, but just like I thought, I really can't get over him. Maybe I suggested that so I could contact him when I missed him. However, even though I was missing him, I never contacted him.
 
Six months passed, and my routine was still the same. I overworked and drank once I got home. And of course, I never saw Aiden again.
 
I was in a hotel restaurant having a one-on-one meeting with Ms. Silvaña. When we finished, we decided to go home. I suggested taking her home because it took us some time, and she agreed wholeheartedly.
 
Nang na sa elevator na kami ay nag-usap kami tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay, she shared her past relationship with his ex-lovers. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang purpose no'n, baka wala lang talaga siyang mapagsabihan tungkol sa mga 'yon. I just listened to her and left a comment once I thought of one.
 
The door opened, and my world seemed to have stopped when Aiden's face flashed before me.
 
"Aiden..." I mumbled.
 
He was talking with another man; he was looking at him, which is why he hadn't noticed me yet.
 
Ms. Silvaña clung to my arm and asked, "Is something wrong?"
 
I turned to her while my chest was pounding. I shook my head and replied, "No... nothing."
 
She smiled, "Let's go?"
 
I nodded, and we got off the elevator while Aiden still hadn't noticed me. As soon as we got off the elevator, they got in.
 
Unti pa lang ang nalalakad namin ni Ms. Silvaña palayo sa elevator nang lingunin ko itong muli. Nakita ko sa pasarang pinto si Aiden, kasama ang lalaki. Magkatitigan sila habang nakangiti. Sumikip ang dibdib ko nang makita na hinawakan ng lalaki ang buhok ni Aiden.
 
Agad akong huminto sa paglakad at lumingon kay Ms. Silvaña, "Kaya mo namang umuwi mag-isa 'di ba?"
 
She looked at me, surprised. "Huh? Uhm... Yeah?"
 
"Good," I replied and stepped backward. "Message me when you get home. May nakalimutan akong kunin, babalikan ko lang. Mauna ka na, ingat ka!"
 
Agad akong tumalikod at hinabol ang elevator. Saktong onti na lang ang buka ng pinto, nang sumigaw ako ng wait at ilusot doon ang kamay ko.
 
Bumukas ang pinto at nang magtama ang mga mata namin ni Aiden, nakita ko ang pagkagulat do'n.
 
"Oh," he smiled, awkwardly. "Wyatt."
 
"You know him?" The guy asked.
 
Aiden nodded and said, "My friend."
 
"Oh, really?" The guy responded, touching Aiden's hair again.
 
I gulped, feeling the thorn in my throat. "Stop touching his hair," I said as I slapped the man's hand.
 
He looked surprised. He turned to Aiden and asked, "What is his problem?"
 
"Uhm..." Aiden stopped for a moment when the door opened. He grabbed my hand as he turned to the guy and said, "I'll be back in a minute!" Then he pulled me away.
 
He kept pulling me until we got to the restroom.
 
Oh, deja vu.
 
"What was that?" He asked, looking annoyed.
 
I looked away and said, "I'm sorry."
 
After a moment of silence, I took a deep breath and held his hand. This is the last time I will ask him. And if this still doesn't work... I will really, really stop.
 
"Aiden."
 
"I know," he replied, even though it was just his name that I said. He sighed. "You looked... miserable. Did you suffer that much?"
 
My heart aches, as if it were being pierced with multiple needles. I don't know. Ang sakit lang makita ulit ang mata niya na parang iiyak na anytime.
 
"I missed you, too," he said. "Wyatt, I don't think I can live another week without you. Is your proposal still valid? Can we... go back?"
 
Fuck.
 
I hugged him tightly, and even though I didn't ask for my tears to come out, they did.
 
"Yeah," I answered. "It will still be valid even if it takes a hundred years."