Their Wild Obsession (Completed)

Chapter 64

She died. The woman who gave birth to me died due to overdosed. According to Dad she'd been taking high dosage of meds for her insomnia and sickness. She was diagnosed to have a very serious illness and that's what causes her insomnia. She cannot sleep overthinking about her life.

Even though I once hated her I couldn't hide the fact that I'm sad. I wanted to ask the heaven to give her back because I want her to ask again my forgiveness. I want to see her physically and beg for it. I want her back not because I still hate her, but because I want to feel that she's still alive and breathing. But no- just like yesterday she will never happen again. Hinding hindi na sya babalik.

Other than that my dad doesn't feel okay after that news. Alam ko na sa'ming lahat sya ang mas higit na masasaktan. She was his first love and still is, I can't even imagine myself having an unrequited love with someone who can never love me back. And maybe.. just maybe her death is his sign to stop the pain. He's been hurting for so many years at gusto ko naman na sumaya sya dahil deserve nya 'yon.

"Pang-ilan na 'yan, dad?" I asked him.

I woke up because I feel like I wanted to eat something my mouth can't tell. May gusto akong kainin na hindi masabi sabi ng bibig ko. That's why I went in the kitchen to get some foods, hindi ko inaasahang maabutan ko si Daddy na tumutungga ng alak.

"You're awake already?"

He's not that drunk though, medyo tipsy lang ayon sa nakikita kong itsura nito.

"I got hungry."

"Oh, I've cooked some salmon pie earlier. I couldn't finish it so you can go get some."

Ngumiti ako at nagpasalamat bago kinuha ang pagkaing sinasabi nito sa refrigerator bago ininit.

"You okay?" I asked as I sat beside him, slowly eating my re-heated pie.

Katangahan mang itanong ko pa iyon sa kabila ng katotohanang hindi naman ito okay dulot ng nangyari. Ilang araw na din ang lumipas matapos ang balitang 'yon pero 'di ko pa rin maiwasang masaktan at alam kong katulad ko ay ganon rin ito.

Ngumiti sya pero mapapansin ang paghihirap sa kaniyang mga mata. If only I could take some of his pain para kahit papaano ay makahinga sya pero hindi ko kaya. I've no magic to do so.

"Two months ago I went straight to the Philippines just to talk to her personally. I wanted to ask forgiveness kahit na alam ko naman ang kaniyang sagot. She didn't even pushed me away, she was just there listening while hurting. Humingi ako ng tawad, ilang ulit. Ginawa ko 'yon dahil sising sisi ako sa lahat. I made her life miserable and I deserved all those treatment. I accepted her painful words, I accepted every hatred she got for me because I know for a fact that it was all my fault and I am the one to blame. I ruined her and because of that I also made you ruined. I.. I'm very sorry, If it wasn't because of me you will never be in that situation, hija."

Hindi ko man lang naramdamang hindi na pala ako kumakain at mas ikinagulat ko ang pagluha.

"D-Dad, it wasn't your fault. Hindi mo kasalanan kung ba't ako nasa ganitong sitwasyon."

Umiling sya, nasasaktang ngumiti.

"Mine, child. Kasalanan ko lahat yun at kahit bali-baliktarin na'tin ang mundo, kung 'di ko ginawa hindi ka rin nasasaktan."

Niyakap ko sya. Hindi ko alam kung sa anong paraan ko sya matutulungan. Gusto kong pagaanin ang loob niya sa pamamagitan man lang ng yakap.

"You know what dad? You gave me reason to continue living my life," nakangiti kong sinulyapan ang aking tiyan, "and so as them. I will never support the way you showed your love to my mother, but I cannot blame you. You were so in love to the point that it made you think irrationally. But I'm grateful, still, because you happen to be my father. Kung hindi iyon nangyari posibleng wala rin ako.. at wala rin ang mga anak ko. I was so lonely, dad, and it was so sad, but when I found out that I'll be having them, tingin ko lahat ng lungkot nilisan ang buong pagkatao ko. So don't be sorry dad, don't be sorry for bringing me in this world because I never regretted existing."