Falling Like A Fool

39

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

"Do you know where UP Baguio is?" I asked one of the young ladies walking along the road. I think the girls were creeped out because a stranger, walking alone, at night was asking for UP Baguio.

"Ang guwapo!" One young skinny man screamed while he walked with other feminine looking young men, who I think were all students in the area.

"We know." One volunteered. "You just walk 10 steps and you're already there." The young man said and pointed to the direction of a building.

"Okay." I nodded and smiled at them. "Thanks." I said and walked towards the building.

As I walked, I saw a brunette woman walking in a hurry, but a young man was following behind her. I knew who she was so I stepped back, and hid myself beside a post where I would be partly hidden.

I watched them talking, but I stared longer at Tanya. I watched her give him a flirtatious smile—the kind of smile I never saw her give me when we were still together. Jealous shot right up through me, and I just wanted to drag her away from him. But, I forced myself to stay still.

After they spoke, she went to a different direction, opposite the other students. I followed her but I maintained a few feet gap between us. I watched her hurriedly walk while she was searching for something insider her bag. Then, she took out a mobile fon and called. From what I heard, she was calling a certain Yaya Lona, and was giving instructions about a certain Tim. I presumed that the Tim must be the name of her child with Joshua.

It hurt so much to know that she now has a child with Joshua. Just thinking about him touching my wife made me want to put a bullet on his head! And just thinking of Tanya enjoying the way he'd touch her fills me with hatred!

Just because she discovered I had a child did not mean I did not love her with all of me. It didn't mean that if I wasn't able to tell her about it, I was already cheating on her! I intended to tell her everything! I intended to love her with all my life! But I got fucking comatose, and it was not my damned fault! Why did she have to leave me just like that? Why did she have to cheat on me? Why did she have to give up on me, when I never gave up on her even when I was comatose? Why did she stop loving me, and even if she stopped, I love her still?

I felt tears fell from my eyes. I heaved a very heavy sigh, as I accepted to myself the very truth—that even if she stopped loving me, I loved her still; and I will not give up on her, despite of what she did to me.

I have come to my resolve that I will make her mine again. I will make her love me again, and when she does, I would even accept her child with Joshua, because that's how much I love her. She is my life. Without her, I'm better off dead.

"Foder!" I gritted my teeth in pain when Tanya kicked me on the balls. "Still the feisty woman..." I gritted in pain, as I watched her ran away from me.

I would have been angry because she kicked me straight up my balls, but I knew it was my fault. I was an ass.

"Way to go, Matteo!" I shook my head as I struggled to stand up from the dust. "That's your plan to make her fall in love with you again? Such an ass, you are! Your brothers would laugh and badger at you with your moves!"

I didn't bother to run after her. After all, I know where she lives. But I suddenly remembered that it was best to check on her since Isabella might follow me here in the Philippines.

I need to protect Tanya and Tim from Isabella.

As soon as I could walk, I walked fast towards her home. I checked on my mobile fon for the details of her address, and went to her condominium.

As I went up to her floor, and walked to the unit number, I did not even think what I would do if I would see Joshua there. In fact, I would really want him there, so I could kick him on the face, and smash it with my bare hands. But, come to think of it, if I wanted my Tatania to fall in love with me again, I would have to play everything well.

I heaved a sigh again, and tried to compose myself, before knocking at the door. But to my surprise, the door was not locked. I came in and said hello to no one in particular.

The room was dark, so I searched for the light switch which would probably somewhere near. When I turned on the light, I saw that there was a telephone and an answering on a table along the hall leading to the living room.

"Hi! This is Heather and Tim Smith's Residence. We're not home right now, but you can leave your name, message, and number, and we'll call you back. Thanks!"

It was Tanya's voice in the answering machine alright, but I wondered why she introduced herself as Heather Smith. And why was Tim's surname Smith too? From what I know is that Joshua's surname is Sycip. Does this mean that Tim is not Joshua's son?

"Hey, babe! I saw a missed call from you, but when I called, you were not answering it anymore. Just call me again if you need me." It was him. It was Joshua, and he was calling my wife 'babe'.

Babe? He's calling my wife 'Babe'? What a f*cking retard! I don't know why Tanya would even like that moron? But, I noticed from the message most of all was that he was telling her to call him if she needed her. Does that mean he doesn't live here with Tanya? But it says in the investigation that this is Joshua's condominium? And, another thing that I noticed, aside from Tanya' using her 2nd name which is Heather, she also said Tim is a Smith. Tim wasn't using Joshua's surname? It doesn't make sense, but I will find out. I have to find out --- even if the truth hurts.

I got curious of Tim, and searched the place for any clue about Tanya's son. I opened one of the two rooms of the condo unit, and found a room that smelled of Vanilla. At that moment, I knew this was Tanya's room, so I entered.

It was neat room, with a single bed that has Light Yellow and white bed sheet, and beside it was a blue crib. There were books beside a study table with a lamp. And on top of the bed was a book shelf where there were law books. I noticed on the other side of the wall was photos she must probably have taken using her mobile phone. And the printed photos were pasted in art paper which were clipped in a thin rope across the wall. From afar, I could see that they were photos of her and Tim with blue cupcakes with a numeric candle indicating how many months old Tim was. I looked at her photo and from the moment she gave birth to Tim, she was already sporting blonde hair. As I looked closer at the photos, I felt myself have goose bumps as I looked at Tim. It was like looking at myself and Marcus when were still babies.

"Tim ... is... mine." I uttered in mixed disbelief and joy. I almost bumped into the study table and saw a baby book aside from a journal on the table. I took the baby book, and opened it only to read the full name of Tim. Timothy Matthew Smith.

I don't know if I was just assuming but, perhaps, Tanya used 'T' from Tatania, and used Matthew for the English version of my name! It was so easy to guess, and I it doesn't make sense if she was making it easier for someone to discover her... discover them, if she really wanted to hide from Isabella... or me...

But, could it be that she was leaving clues for me? If she does, I would feel guiltier of what I could just imagine she went through because of me...

I felt disoriented and took a few steps backward and almost bumped in to the crib. I slowly held on to the crib, as if I was holding my very own son. My very own son.

I was about to cry, but I reached out for the baby pillows. I smelled them, and it smelled like milk. My son smelled like this! I thought, and hugged the pillows. Though I was acting all weird, emotional, and crazy, I slowly went to the single bed, and reached for the pillow. I smelled it and it smelled like Vanilla—just like how I remember my wife's scent. I couldn't stop myself, and I embraced both pillows hard as if those pillows were my wife and son.