fate

guilt

Jungkook: he wants to see m-me?

Jimin: yeah.

Jungkook: but I don't want to trigger anything.

Jimin: it's okay. he'll be fine. he wants to talk to you.

Jungkook: okay.

Jungkook went in cautiously. he looked at taehyung before entering making sure he was alright. then he went and stood in a corner looking at taehyung.

taehyung: you are not in detention. you can come and sit here.

taehyung said pointing at the chair beside his bed. the sentence made Jungkook smile a bit. he went and sat on the chair.

Jungkook: how are you?

taehyung: better now. but I wanted to ask you something.

Jungkook: yeah?

taehyung: are you fucking stupid?

Jungkook was taken aback at the sudden outburst.

Jungkook: what did I do? is what I did I have no idea what but is it the reason you did this to yourself?

taehyung: no... it is not the reason.

Jungkook: why am I stupid? I'm sure you are right but why?

taehyung: you have been here for more than 24 hours and have not even slept! is this a way of treating yourself?

Jungkook: sorry. but I was guilty. I thought whatever you did was because of me.

taehyung: no... you are not the reason. you may have triggered it a bit but I let the negative thoughts take the best of me...

they talked for a while, completely unrelated to their relationship or their family, or taehyung's suicide attempt. nothing. irrelevant.

after a lot of days, taehyung smiled genuinely.

taehyung: okay now... you need to sleep. go home this second.

Jungkook: nope... I'm not going home.

taehyung: okay then sleep here. 

taehyung made Jungkook sleep on the couch in the room. Jungkook fell asleep the moment his eyes closed. Jimin came in sometime later to find Jungkook fast asleep on the couch and taehyung staring at him with tears in his eyes.

Jimin: I think you should move back to Europe.

taehyung: huh? why?

Jimin: you are hurting yourself being around him. you met him twice and did this. you had stopped doing this to yourself a year ago. being close to him is just harming you.

taehyung: no... I need him. even if it's just the pain. I need the pain. you know if I get so drunk that I can't even walk and I enter a room with all of the people so close to me that I can't live without them, including my grandmother... I would run into his arms. I am sure of that. he is my solace. I don't fucking care if it makes me break.

jimin: but tae... it's hurting him equally. I can't see both of my friends in pain. you know you can't win him back, don't you? he is married and committed to someone.

taehyung: I don't want to pull him away from his marriage. I just want to be in his presence. I promise I won't do this again.

jimin: fine... but you are not living alone. you are moving in with us.

taehyung: okay. i guess...