NCIS One Shots

Blame Part 2

Pairing: Z/G (Father-daughter Relationship)

TW: Past Childhood Trauma, C-PTSD

Ziva David POV (Third Person Omniscient)

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McGee was still down in the lab with Abby processing the evidence collected from the safe house and Luke's storage unit.

While Ziva was sitting at her desk 'reading' the documents she was supposed to, slowly her mind started to think again and yelled at herself for not being good enough, blaming herself for all the mistakes, but then her guilt turned to rage when she realized the abduction wouldn't have happened if Tony was there. 

Then she thought of how Gibbs had treated her since the abduction, he hadn't acknowledged her once since then. She felt unwanted by Gibbs, like she was useless. She felt abandoned by the only father figure she has in her life. Her blood was boiling under her skin, and she could feel the heat rising within her.

At that moment Tony mumbled under his breath, "This is your fault Ziva," After a while of reading, he was tired of the endless pile of documents he needed to process.

"How is this my fault?" she retorted trying to keep the anger away.

"If you haven't lost Marlene we wouldn't be sitting here reading these stupid papers, we would have caught the killer by now, instead of looking for the witness."

Ziva almost yelled, "Maybe you shouldn't have gone off to get food! Maybe you shouldn't have left me alone! Maybe you have stayed! Maybe-"

"Stop blaming everyone else except for yourself!" Tony exclaimed.

"DON'T YOU THINK I HAVE NOT BLAMED MYSELF TWICE AS MUCH!?" Ziva finally exploded.

To everyone's horror, the strong, never-ever-let-anyone-see-you-show-anyone-weakness-warrior started crying.

Gibbs was sitting at his desk and heard the whole conversation.

He knew he shouldn't have pushed her. He knew it was going to end badly.

"DiNozzo, take a walk, and don't come back until you are ready to apologize to Ziva!" Gibbs ordered.

The silvered hair man knew Ziva didn't have a great childhood, he's seen her symptoms of distrust and people-pleasing before. and this case brought back many unpleasant and traumatic memories. But still, he pushed her over the edge with his coldness towards her since the abduction, he was angry that the witness was missing but maybe that was a bit too much.

Gibbs' heart ached to see Ziva hurt, he walked over to the brunette, trying to figure out what to say to make things better.

"Are you okay Ziver? He asked gently.

"Yes," Breathing heavily, she lied, her face still in her hands, sobbing.

"You don't look 'fine' to me," He said kneeling down by her chair. "And it's okay not to be."

Ziva looked up with tears still streaming down her face.

"Talk to me," He told her.

"I don't need to talk!" She answered a little harsher than she intended to, trying to push Gibbs away so she could hurt alone.

Ziva rushed away to hide away from everyone, burying herself in a corner where nobody goes.

Great, here comes the self-destructive behavior. 🙄

But Gibbs wouldn't let her go that easily, he followed behind her. He found Ziva on the floor with her knees up to her chest, hiding her face. He crouched down next to her and didn't leave her side and continued to wait.

"You were really harsh to me, Gibbs." The brunette finally choked out. "And you were yelling and it felt like the anger was towards me... I don't like people yelling at me... And I thought you didn't want me anymore because you were disregarding me and ignoring me..." Her sentence was broken up between sobs.

He knew she had abandonment issues stemming from her childhood trauma, he knew he shouldn't have done it but he did it anyway just because he was angry.

"I know, and I am so sorry Ziva." Gibbs apologized. "I promise you, I will never abandon you, you mean too much to me."

Ziva gave a small teary smile.

Gibbs held out his arms and she immediately give in to his embrace.

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Not a second later, Tony and McGee appeared beside the two agents with new information, "Boss, found secret farmhouse in one of the documents, do you want to bring him in- What's wrong with Ziva?" Tony talked quickly to inform him but then saw Ziva curled up with her knees up and her face hidden in them.

Gibbs looked down at the curled-up agent beside him, "Nothing DiNozzo, you and McGee go arrest him, I'll stay here."

"Are you sure boss? You usually like to arrest them by yourself. Are you sure Ziva's okay?" McGee asked to confirm.

Gibbs had to stay, he had to make everything right for Ziva. After how he treated her and dug up all her childhood trauma, he had to fix everything to make things right.

"Yes, Now go." Gibbs pointed to the elevator.

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After the two men left, Gibbs sat back down to check if Ziva was okay.

"Hey, Ziver. You okay?" He asked gently.

"Yeah, thanks for staying Gibbs." The brunette unburied her teary face and replied.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay and talk some more," Gibbs told her.

"I appreciate it," Ziva smiled at him and he smiled back.

They sat closely side by side on the floor, not caring who was going to see them and they stayed there on the ground for a long while.

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AN:

I'm sorry but I don't really like Tony

Feel free to analyze Ziva's trauma

I literally had no patience to typy typy stories these days...

Just watched Ziva leave NCIS... I want to cry my eyes out... But I don't have the energy to

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