NCIS One Shots

Si Pudiera Matarte, Lo Haría!

F/F

Pairing: Z/R/G (Platonic)

Reader POV (Third Person Omniscient)

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Summary:

You threatened the prep to get him talking but Gibbs doesn't understand because it was in Spanish

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"SIT DOWN!" Gibbs shouted and pointed down at the chair on the other side, he was immensely angry at the horrific crime that the perp committed and it was definitely showing.

The infuriating perp got startled by the intimidating team leader and immediately sat back down submissively.

Across the table, where you and Gibbs were sitting, the both of you scowled at the arrogant coldhearted killer that thinks that he could get away with anything.

"Now you are going to tell us what we want, Dino Salgado," Gibbs said irritatedly, his voice dangerously low enough to be growling.

"How 'bout... No!" The prep grinned cunningly, taunting the two of you as he almost laughed out loud.

As Gibbs looked like he was about to blow, you looked at him for permission to try to the information you needed from the Dino's tight-sealed lips to avoid an altercation.

He nodded at your silent request, approving the proposal, it couldn't hurt letting you try to pry it out of him, right? Plus you could show him how much you've learned since you joined the team.

Slowly, you got up and moved to sit on the surface on Dino's side of the desk, invading his precious space and trying to make him uneasy modification of power perception.

"Si pudiera matarte," You leaned forward and whispered in a low voice near his ear. "lo haría." You grinned evilly, almost menacingly. 

You looked deep into his eyes mockingly, scaring him as you bore holes into the back of his skull with your dangerous dark eyes. "Pero es ilegal en muchas partes, no?"

Purposefully, you walked around the desk to the other side to rejoin Gibbs and his hazardous glare.

"¡No lo harías!" He yelled trying to prove that he wasn't scared of your highly unlikely threat.

You instantly turned back alarmingly quickly, facing him. "¡Lo haría!" You yelled back almost furiously.

You slowly moved back toward him at your full height, and with two fingers you teasingly put under his chin and jerked it upwards. "Si no soy yo, entonces Ziva." You threatened again.

"¿La agente que me atacó?" He acknowledged how 'serious' you were and was not willing to take another chance with the trained assassin. "¡No! ¡No, gracias!"

He met Ziva when he ran from the team and she tackled him to the ground, using excessive force to subdue him (it was justified) since he was resisting arrest.

Dino was truly scared for once, Gibbs could see it in his eyes even though he didn't understand a word between what the two of you were saying.

"They can't say that to me, can they?" The perp asked, turning to Gibbs with fear on his face.

Gibbs simply shrugged and pretended not to care. But mostly because he didn't know what you said to him and he didn't care as long as it gets the job done. But he decided he better not know in case it was something inappropriate and can be used by the defense as coercion.

"Write now." Gibbs said simply, being the functional mute that he is and sternly pushed the pen and notepad in front of the prep.

Dino acquiesced obediently and wrote down the information that he was holding so close to his heart.

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On the other side of the glass, Ziva and McGee were watching the very entertaining interrogation.

Ziva had understood everything that you said and combined with your actions it was extremely amusing, to that she laughed out loud.

"What Ziva? What?" McGee asked, he wanted desperately to understand what you had said that made Ziva laugh as she did. 

"Nothing," The brunette continued to giggle as she saw you and Gibbs packing up to leave the interrogation room as you were done with the perp.

"What Ziva? Tell me!" He pressed for an answer, wanting to get in the joke as well.

"Fine. But you can't tell anyone, okay?" Ziva agreed with a smirk on her face.

"Okay, I swear on it, just tell me." He wanted to see what was so funny about it.

"Y/N told him that they would like to kill him, but it was illegal to do so. And Dino said that they wouldn't. But then they threatened that I would kill him."

At that moment, you walked into the room hearing Ziva translate to McGee.

"Bragging Ziva?" You teased, walking right up beside her as you laughed with the brunette.

"You really threatened to kill him?" McGee asked with a grin on his face as well now that he understood.

"Yeah, kinda?" You replied in a singsong voice.

"You don't think he's gonna tell his lawyer, right?" McGee asked, being the most analytical one out of all of them.

"Nah, I think Ziva has made a horrific impression on him." You said as you high-fived Ziva.

"Teamwork makes a nightmare!" Ziva said cheerfully, messing up yet another English idiom.

"Ziva, I think the saying is 'Teamwork makes the dream work'." McGee corrected her once again.

"Whatever! It makes him have a nightmare." Ziva said jokingly and threw her arm over your shoulder as the two of you walked out the door together speaking Spanish.

McGee shook his head and smiled, nobody will ever be as tight as the two of you.

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Translation:

Si pudiera matarte, lo haría. = If I could kill you, I would.

Pero es ilegal en muchas partes, no? = But it's illegal in many places, isn't it?

¡No lo harías! = You wouldn't!

¡Lo haría! = I would!

Si no soy yo, entonces Ziva. = If not me, then Ziva.

¿La agente que me atacó? ¡No! ¡No, gracias! = The agent who attacked me? No! No, thank you!

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AN:

Inspired by Set It Off - Wolf In Sheep's Clothing - [Cover Español] - AlexDevStyles

It's not a love story! For once... 🙄

It's supposed to be funny

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