NCIS One Shots

Do You Have A Death Wish!? Yes!

Pairing: Z/G (Father-daughter Relationship)

TW: Past Childhood Trauma, C-PTSD, Passive Suicidal Ideation, Daddy Issues

Ziva David/Leroy Jethro Gibbs POV (Third Person Omniscient)

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Summary:

Ziva did something dangerous, Gibbs is mad, yelling match becomes a confession, Gibbs relates

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It was dark outside, Ziva didn't know why or how she ended up at Gibbs' house in the middle of the night but there she was, blankly staring at the front door of his house.

Today was a hard day, they had a tough case. And even though they caught the perp, she didn't feel right, she just felt emotional, depressed, miserable... She wanted comfort but as a trained assassin the first lesson ever was she wasn't supposed to have feelings or emotions, never to show any emotion, it is a sign of weakness. Stuff the emotions way down and never let them see the day of light; suffer alone, never ask for any help. She knew it was contradictory as a woman in this position (Mossad liaison officer) but everything in her just hurt and the one person she trusted was so close yet so far away.

She decided to go for a run to shake off the disgusting feeling of being unworthy, second-guessing herself with every decision she made. Even though her ribs were screaming in pain, she push through it and winced with every step she took. Her mind must have wandered aimlessly and brought her to a place where she felt safe - Gibbs' house.

She hesitated, wondering if she should go inside or not. But it was cold outside and the chilly winter was not her favorite so she push in the door and entered.

"Ziva!" A slightly angry voice was heard throughout the house as soon as she stepped inside.

Oh no... What did she do now? Ziva racked her brain trying to figure out what she did that might make Gibbs angry at her as she automatically assumed that she made some terrible mistake.

"In the basement." The voice didn't sound angry this time.

Walking down the stairs with caution, her mind flashed through the day, they had a dangerous case today but it wasn't that bad, and in the end, they still caught the bad guy.

"How'd you know it was me?" The Mossad officer asked confused as she got to the bottom last steps.

By the way Ziva was all sweaty and panted between her sentences, she must have ran here.

When it comes to Gibbs, Ziva saw him as a father figure and wanted to please him in any way that she can (like the way she would when Eli David shouted and screamed for the tiniest minor inconvenience. She grew up too quickly).

Gibbs didn't answer as he turned around to face her, his hands still working on his latest project with a chisel in one hand and a block of wood in the other.

Ziva came closer, her eyes searching his face trying to read his emotion and decide what she could do to defuse the situation. She scanned and monitored Gibbs' emotional states in order to anticipate any negative feelings he might experience.

The brunette guessed what he might be feeling so as to avoid making herself uncomfortable. But Gibbs' perfectly stern face and icy blue eyes didn't tell her anything.

With emotion monitoring, there is a sense of anticipation, and because that anticipation is constant, one's own emotional state gets neglected (like the way little Ziva could never tell how Eli David was going to treat her that day; Was she going to get the enraged man who was furious at her for no reason or was she going to get the calm father that everyone outside the family saw and liked as if he didn't yell some gut-wrenching insult at her. She never had safety or stability in her early life).