NCIS One Shots

Do You Think In Another Universe, I Will Know What It Feels Like To Be Loved?

Pairing: Z/G (Father-daughter Relationship)

TW: Past Childhood Trauma, C-PTSD

Ziva David/ Leroy Jethro Gibbs POV (Third Person Omniscient)

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Summary:

Gibbs tries to convince Ziva who is in denial that she has childhood trauma, normal people don't wonder if their childhood was normal or if they have trauma.

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After falling apart in Gibbs' gentle but steady arms, Ziva could still feel the hurt in her chest and felt suffocated in the dark basement and the father figure suggested that they go out for a walk and get some fresh air near the park. There was a slight breeze in the summer night, just the perfect temperature to be outside and enjoy the night. It was still dark outside, only an hour after midnight.

Ziva dipped her head, stared down, focusing on the pavement, one step at a time. Her facial expression looked so uneasy, after the breakdown she didn't have the energy to hide her pain anymore. "I can see you hurting kiddo." Gibbs was worried about his little girl, she looked so melancholic, her facial expression filled with anguish and hurt. But the trained spy didn't respond, she was held captive by her own raging thoughts.

Side by side they walked closely together, it was an intimate scene. Hands almost touching, the trained assassin just wanted to be close to him as she craved more of his comfort. But the questions in her mind nagged at her annoyingly. "Why? Why me? Why don't they love me?" Softly, she blurted out under her breath, almost as if she was talking to herself, asking herself where she had gone wrong that led to the way her parents treated her. "Why can we not be a normal, loving family?" She stared straight at the ground.

What Gibbs heard broke his heart, from what he understood, Ziva was hurting from the thing she longed for but never had - love. "You need to let go of the idea of having a conventional family." He shared an insightful remark. It was a hard concept to truly recognize and comprehend. For a child, the first thing society expects you to learn is to love your family no matter what.

She thought about this deeply for a while as they continued to walk. "Then what do you suggest I should do from now on Gibbs?" Ziva broke the silence, looking at him with expectant eyes, hoping he had all the answers to her problems.

He answered tenderly, hoping his little girl knew that he honestly meant what he was saying as he gently brushed against her hand with his own. "You need to do the work to heal, but don't worry, you won't have to do it alone, I'll be there every step of the way if you need." 

"Heal from what?" She asked, her brows furrowed, truly confused as stopped in her tracks in the middle of the road, abruptly turning to face Gibbs fully and he stopped with her. 

"Your childhood trauma Ziver." Gibbs replied without a second thought, it was quite obvious that his little girl was suffering from the consequences of long-term child abuse and was struggling to deal with the issues that it caused.

"I do not have childhood trauma." The trained assassin scoffed instinctively to protect the memories of the good times. At first thought, she was in denial about going through traumatic events during her life. Briefly thinking about it, as a little girl she idealized her father, and her memory of her mother was the affectionate caregiver.

The father figure's brows raised in a skeptical manner. "Ziver, normal people don't wonder if their childhood was normal or if they have trauma. Like your struggle to understand why your father did what he did. " He informed her and saw the realization instantly dawn on her face as she examined further into her childhood.