South Park: Dragging Me Down

Panic

With a heavy heart, Pip trudged his way down the street to Wendy's house. The rest of the afternoon had been horrible. He'd received a split lip kudos of Clyde, several bruises kudos of Craig, and a stern telling off from Mr Garrison for being generally useless. He'd then received an after-school detention from PC Principal for apparently loitering in the corridor, which meant he was late to meet up with Wendy, Butters and Kevin and they'd walked off without him.

Thankfully Pip knew where Wendy lived so didn't exactly need an escort. He soon found himself walking up her driveway, pondering if he'd made the right decision. He knocked on the door. Wendy opened it and he was surprised to see her smile.

"Pip, you made it!"

"H-Hi Wendy. Sorry I'm a little late. I-I got detention."

"That's okay, we were just getting started anyway. Come on in!" she stepped back to allow him access.

Pip timidly stepped into the hallway and waited for her to close the door before following her into the lounge. Butters and Kevin were crashed on the floor, their workbooks scattered about the place.

"Hey there, Pip!" Butters greeted, "Glad to see you made it okay!"

"Thank you." Pip replied.

Wendy slid onto the floor by her books. "Feel free to sit on the sofa or the floor, Pip."

Pip eyed up the sofa. It had been such a long time since he'd last sat on one, but a thought lingered in the back of his mind and screamed at him not to. He didn't deserve such comforts as those.

Pip found himself on the floor next to Wendy, easily catching up with their notes. Time soon passed and he found himself growing a little bored of waiting for the others to catch up. He glanced around the room. It was a tidy lounge, with framed photos of Wendy and her parents resting on various cabinets across the room. They looked so happy together.

He felt his breath hitch.

Oh please for the love of God, not now!

Trying to keep his mind occupied on anything but that, Pip was overcome and soon consumed by negative thoughts. Familiar phrases echoed in his mind.

'You're not good enough, you'll never be good enough!'

'I don't even want to look at you!'

'You make me SICK.'

He bit his tongue. Feeling his nerves rising, he felt the need to escape. He swallowed and turned to Wendy, "P-Please may I be excused? I-I need the b-bathroom."

"Yeah, of course. It's upstairs, second door on the right."

The Brit quickly made his way up the stairs, trying to ignore the photos lined up on the wall along the staircase. They were everywhere. He had to get away. Pip stood on the landing. He waited there for a few moments with closed eyes, clenched fists wobbling as he tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts. They continued to plague him. He leapt for the bathroom and locked the door.

'Stop being stupid!'

He clawed at his hair.

'I HATE YOU!'

He fell onto his knees with a sob.

Downstairs, the trio heard the noise of Pip falling and looked over at each other.

"Did he just drop something?" asked Kevin.

"Uh, hm, i-it sure did sound like it!" Butters added, turning to Wendy.

"I better go see if he's alright then," Wendy got to her feet, trotting her way upstairs. She crossed the landing and knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey Pip, are you in here?"

"I-I'm okay..." came a quiet voice.

Pip had his head buried in his knees with his arms wrapped around his legs. The panic had hit him like a tidal wave a few minutes prior and he was now struggling to moderate his breathing. His chest heaved in and out at a rapid pace. His palpitations increased. His eyes watered. He felt numb. Dizzy. Disorientated.

'Disgusting.'

Sick.

He was pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. Why was this happening now? Sod that, he knew exactly why it was happening now, but it never dawned on him that it would ever happen in Wendy's house!

No, no, no, please go away why does this have to happen now I'm scared this is Wendy's house if she finds out she'll tell everyone she doesn't deserve this oh God oh God please stop please stop don't let it get worse I'm going to die I feel sick I can't breathe I can't breathe!

Wendy knocked the door again. She could hear what could only be described as elevated breathing noises and it concerned her.

He wasn't masturbating, was he?

"Pip? You okay?" she called out again.

This time he did not verbally respond. Fearing something was desperately wrong, Wendy fiddled with the lock. Being a close family meant that the lock was more of a privacy feature than a safety one so was pretty easy to manipulate from the other side of the door. She used her dainty fingers to spin the lock mechanism, unlocking the door, and pulled it open.

The sight that graced her was not one she was expecting. Pip was a quivering mess.

He was having a panic attack.

Immediately feeling herself go rigid, Wendy forced herself out of her reverie and dove down beside him. Trying to remember everything she'd ever been taught about first aid related issues, she started speaking to him. "You're okay, you're okay! Breathe, Pip! Breathe!"

Her words seemed to fall on deaf ears. She bit her lip and stood up quickly, trying to weigh in her options.

How can I get through to someone I don't even know?

"On your feet, soldier!"

It was something her dad sometimes said to her when she was feeling down. She remembered one time he used it after she'd had a horrible argument with Stan when they were still dating. She was feeling terrible and Bebe's useless advice had made her feel worse, so she had gone home in tears, thinking the entire world was against her. She had sat on her bed for hours and missed dinner. Her father eventually came up to see how she was and was not ready for the crying disaster he found. After hearing her out, he kindly smiled. "On your feet, soldier." he had said, "You're stronger than this."

She hoped it would be enough for him.

Pip snapped at her shout. He felt his fears suddenly melt away and he became aware of where he was again. It took him a few moments to slow his breathing down, his chest constricting painfully. He shakily glanced up at Wendy, his face pale. "W-Wendy?"

"Are you okay?" she almost pleaded.

Shaking himself down, he stood up, still trembling, "F-Forget about it."

"Pip?"

"F-Forget about it, please." He briskly made his way down the stairs and back into the lounge where the other two were still doing work. He grabbed his stuff and shoved it into his bag.

"Where ya going, Pip?"

"We're not done yet!"

"I have to go. S-See you later," he said softly, leaving the room without another word.

He entered the hallway and smiled at a confused Wendy who had just reached the bottom of the stairs. "Thank you for allowing me to come into your home. I-It was nice. Goodbye." he bowed his head politely and left her house, leaving Wendy standing in the doorway.

What on Earth...