South Park: Dragging Me Down

Fractured

Mysterion ran along the rooftop buildings with determination in his eyes.

He was going to find out where that dickhead of a teacher lived, and was then going to kick the shit out of him. He didn't care that he was disguised as a hero for this. He didn't care that this guy was a distinguished teacher. He cared about Pip, and he wasn't going to let this asshole get away with what he'd done.

Mysterion hopped along the buildings until he arrived at the address in question. He'd already looked it up and found the address using the school's teacher database, so knew he was at the right place. He perched on the roof and swung himself down the side of the building to the bedroom window, peering through it. The window was open a crack, so Mysterion hauled himself inside and landed in the room.

'Okay, I'm here. How should I play this?' he thought, trying to find a way to justify his actions. As he thought about what to do, Mysterion's eyes drifted to the bed, where he flinched on seeing a naked female apparently sleeping on the bed, a needle sticking out of her arm.

Mysterion carefully approached and held out a gloved hand, pulling the needle out from the woman's arm. As he looked at her, he recognized her as one of the hookers he'd seen in Kenny's dirty magazines.

Mysterion found himself smirking at the discovery.

Now his teacher really was in the shit.

Silently, the hero made his way down the stairs leading into the hallway and then the lounge next to that. Mysterion stood in the doorway and saw the teacher slouching on the sofa, a beer bottle in his hand, with another woman in-between his legs. Mysterion remained in the hallway and observed the situation, watching as a third woman entered the room, a bruise on her cheek.

"D-Did you want anything else, honey?" she asked nervously.

"Fuck off." he replied bluntly.

The woman gave him a sad smile and hurried through the lounge, making her way into the hallway when Mysterion quickly accosted her, holding a hand on her mouth. The woman's eyes were wide and Mysterion held a finger up to his mouth, indicating her to be quiet.

"You're safe." he whispered, as the woman broke down on him. She hugged the teenager and he hugged her back, recognizing the situation for what it was.

The woman sat on the bottom step and Mysterion made his dramatic entrance, cape sweeping behind him as he ran inside the lounge. "Mr Blackguard, you're under arrest."

The man kicked the second prostitute away and looked at the vigilante in shock. "Who the hell are you? Get out of my house!" he drunkenly stood up and swung his fist at Mysterion, completely missing him.

Mysterion seized his arm and bent it behind his back, ordering the second hooker to leave. "You're a piece of shit, Blackguard. Not only do you do drugs and beat on your wife, but you also abuse minors from the school you work at!" he hissed, yanking his arm up. The teacher cried out in pain.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" he lied pathetically, wincing at the pain of having his arm dragged up behind him. Mysterion kneed the man in the chest and on remembering how he'd beaten poor defenceless Pip, punched him hard.

"Two words: Philip Pirrup, you asshole!" Mysterion kicked him in the chest and started wailing on the man even harder, his anger getting the better of him. "You're an abusive piece of shit who doesn't deserve to be a teacher, and you certainly don't deserve such a lovely wife!" he punched him in the face.

"Fiancée..." the man mumbled.

"Shut the fuck up!" Mysterion growled, kicking the man in the side.

The beating went on and on until the police arrived - who the fiancée had called in the interim - came to arrest the man. On seeing the vigilante beating Blackguard, the policemen hauled the superhero off him and attempted to restrain him.