South Park: Dragging Me Down

Mindscape

Pip tried to steady his tired frame as he leant over the hob and salted the potatoes which were boiling away in one of the saucepans. His head was throbbing terribly and the heat radiating from the oven was making him feel dizzy, but he tried to push that feeling away because he knew he had a job to do.

The kitchen door opened and Pip seized up, his body going completely still as he froze to the spot. A heavy hand came down on his shoulder, making him shudder.

"Hey kid, that smells delicious."

A fleeting feeling of confusion passed through his mind. It was rare that his food was ever complimented.

"T-Thank you?" Pip squeezed out quietly, unsure if he was allowed to respond like that.

"How was school?"

"F-Fine thanks." Pip tried to keep the shock out of his voice. The man never usually spoke to him like this.

The boyfriend ran his fingers through Pip's hair before brushing his hands through his own greasy hair. He grabbed a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket then struck the tip of the cigarette, lighting it. He took a quick puff, blowing the smoke towards Pip.

"I saw your school report. You've gone up a grade in English."

"Y-Yes."

"But you've gone down a grade in Math."

"Yes." Pip's eyes connected with the floor.

"Why?"

"W-Why?"

"Why do you suck at Math?"

Pip winced. The real reason was because Math was one of the classes that had lots of his bullies in and they really liked to hurt him verbally so he couldn't concentrate, and often pounced on him when the teacher left the room.

"I-It's just confusing."

"Hm, maybe we should get you homeschooled."

At first a feeling of elation rushed through his chest at the idea of no longer going to school and suffering there, but then he thought of being locked in the house with his sister and her boyfriend and never being allowed out again. He would be there, with them, forever.

"I-It's okay. I-I'll try harder. Revise more."

The boyfriend sniffed and took another puff, leaning on the counter. Pip wished he'd go away, not being able to concentrate on cooking whilst being watched.

The man observed him for a while, making him feel more and more uncomfortable.

"We'll just be needing the two plates." his voice finally cut through the kitchen, the message clear.

"O-Okay."

Pip reached into the cupboard and retrieved two from the stack. They jangled as he placed them down on the work surface.

"I'm going to be spending the night in bed with your sister. I suggest you go out and meet up with your friends or some shit."

Pip's heart sank. If only he did have friends. He'd tried so hard since elementary school to make at least one friend, but nobody liked him. He was used to that now, but it still hurt knowing the majority of kids in his class were friends with one another.

He had nowhere to go either, which meant he'd be probably spending the rest of the evening walking around the freezing town, trying to avoid creeps. He sighed, accepting his fate.

"Yes... sir."

~~~~~

Hours later, Pip found himself traversing the freshly covered streets of South Park. With no coat, scarf, gloves, or even a pair of trousers to his name, Pip shivered as he wandered aimlessly past illuminated stores and houses. He struggled past cafes and restaurants, feeling the raging hunger burning inside him as the aromas of delicious takeaways roamed about the town.

He sighed and took brief shelter in a doorway, pulling his jacket tighter to his chest. His eyes wandered down the picturesque street, watching other individuals who were walking past and doing a bit of shopping. Families, friends, couples - they were all normal people, experiencing the world.

Pip's heart panted and his eyes wobbled. He wished he was normal like them.

That would be his dream. To be normal. To be treated like a normal person. To be addressed by his name, invited into conversations, and treated like a person - not an object or thing. To be a real person with thoughts and feelings.

Pip wished his parents were still alive, and his sister and everyone at school were nicer to him. He wished he'd gone to friendlier orphanages where people had actually cared about his well-being, and asked if he was feeling okay. Just being considered as someone worth caring about would have been nice.

He didn't even know how normal people were supposed to act because he'd never experienced positive feedback before. Was that normal? Not knowing that?

He wasn't normal.

He was a freak.

Pip had always tried to be nice to everyone and it was incredibly rare when someone was nice back to him, to the point he thought their behaviour was ordinary. He didn't deserve friends, family, or people being nice to him. They were right to treat him like that. He was just a problem child. A mistake.

At least, that's what everyone said to him.

The sound of laughter startled Pip. He swiftly ducked out of sight in the foot of a nearby alleyway, peering out from behind the wall. He watched as a big group of the lads from school trotted past, laughing and joking with each other as they talked about normal topics for boys his age, like girls and sport. He remained hidden and bit his lip as he listened to their playful conversation.

As they passed him, his eyes watered, thinking of all the times these same lads had taunted him and beaten him up, yet they all seemed really happy and content now. Pip lowered himself into a crouch and thought about how everyone was always angry with him. No matter how hard he worked or how friendly he tried to be, everyone was always so angry with him. They reprimanded him, teased him, taunted him, called him names, discriminated against him, said he wasn't good enough, forced him to do chores, burnt him, ignored him, neglected him, isolated him, humiliated him, starved him and beat him regularly. He was obviously so detestable that he deserved all this hurt.

This was normal.

Pip fell onto his rear and pulled his knees up to his chest in thought. As long as he was helpful and provided a service to others, and did everything in his power to make them all happy, no matter how they treated him, his life would be worthwhile.

Even if it meant he'd always be alone.