The Hate

" LUNCH "

SIDHARTH

Looking around the vintage arts and sculpture I got lost in its beauty and creativity, I was stocked when shehnaaz made me pull over at a museum, " she does know me well " , I walked around the museum like an excited child at a them park gushing over the things around us to shehnaaz like a nerd am I to shehnaaz who for the first time let me do all the talking and listened to me patiently.

" You know this called as the godly creation of God "

" Godly creation?? "

" I know it does have a weird and unique name but the catch hear in the picture is the artist is explaining through the picture how the God has created something so beautiful yet so ugly that he would be the one destroying at all by himself "

" How can you say that?? "

" Look at the picture closely you will understand the meaning "

I said she walked closer to the picture observing it diligently , standing behind her I wrap my arms around her waist placing my face over her head she leans back resting her head over my chest placing her hand on mine which layed on her abdomen, watching the portrait along with her.

" Oh yes it does have a meaning , wow sidharth I never knew arts could speak so much "

" Told you "

" And I'm also seeing what are you trying to do here "

" What am I trying to do naaz?? "

" Don't call me that it's annoying as fuck "

" Than I'm not stopping myself in calling you that "

" What kind of a game are you playing sidharth?? "

" What game are you talking about?? "

I asked facing her she looks at me with a cryptic look and continues talking.

" This?? What is this game about?? "

" You are the one who got me out for a date , so you tell me what kind of a game are you playing miss gill "

" I'm not playing any sought of a game which might hurt to any of us, I'm just trying to have bond with you though we didn't have a good friendship  bond nor a professional one I'm trying something which can keep us sane together for the rest of our lives "

" You are creating a bond of love aren't you "

" Maybe if I say yes, will you love me?? "

She asks taking me off guard by her question again, though this isn't the first time where shehnaaz has left me shook or loss of words but this , her asking would I love her?? Let me be honest here I did liked her when we were kids but now! , loving her or anyone is hard for me. It doesn't have anything to do with rejection but a lot of people except my family nobody know that I have 'separation anxiety', I'm scared to allow someone close to me only to think they might leave me Or something happening to them. This isn't the first time I have had a separation anxiety attack, I had once when I was a kid when I thought something happen to my mother and the second time when shehnaaz left for abroad. And thinking about loving her or anyone scares me.