Janet
I felt the sunlight on my face and slowly opened my eyes. Rolling over, I was met with the face of my love. Looking down, I saw all four of our babies. We decided to spend the whole day together in the house, just having fun. We ended the night with a movie in our room, where the boys ultimately fell asleep.
Today was Josiah's first targeted therapy treatment as well as the beginning of his bone marrow transplant. Turns out Randy was the perfect donor and he's been following the diet and all the instructions the doctor set up. He was so excited to help Josiah. Mike and Rebbie were also on standby just in case we have to do this multiple times. I wanted to go first but everyone agreed that I needed to have my strength to take care of him afterwards, so I'm the last option.
Getting up, I got myself cleaned up before packing everyone a bag. Toni and I were going to stay in the hospital with Josiah while the twins and Jordan were going with my mother. So I made sure to pack enough clothes for a little over a week.
Going downstairs, I began to make a big breakfast. During this process, Josiah won't be able to eat many things like this, so I want to make sure he has an amazing breakfast. I made eggs, bacon, sausage, cut up steak, grits, waffles, pancakes, and biscuits. I cut up some fruit and got different juices out.
After setting the table, I went back upstairs and watched all of my loves sleeping. Jordan was on Toni's chest, Josiah was across her legs, and the twins were on each side of her. My heart felt full. Getting my phone, I took a few pictures from different angles. A few tears fell from my eyes from fear and uncertainty. I prayed to God and hoped that this worked, but I also prepared myself for the possibility of it not working. What I would tell the boys. The journey and healing process that Toni and so would have to take together. The space that would never be filled if he was taken from us. Would I even have more children?
I went into the bathroom and silently cried. This was a lot on my heart and mind. The tears poured from my eyes. I could not imagine a world that my baby wasn't in. Things would never be the same. I would never be the same. Nothing would ever be the same. Taking a deep breath, I cleaned my face and went back into the room.
Everyone was starting to wake up. TJ woke up and looked at me. "Morning, baby."
"Morning, mommy." He held his arms out and I picked him up.
"You hungry?" His eyes got big.
"Yeah."
"Well, you gotta wake up your mama and brothers." I put him in the bed and he jumped up and down.
"Wake up! Wake up!" Tommy woke up with a mad face.
"Stoooooop!"
"Mommy cook breakfast." Tommy sat up.
"Ooooohhhh." They both shook Toni.
"Wake up, Mama." She groaned and opened her eyes. Josiah and Jordan also turned over. Jordan started to whine a little, so I picked him up to calm him down.
"What's up? Why y'all shaking on me?"
"Mommy cook breakfast." said Tommy.
"Ooohh, let's get up then." She picked up Josiah and we all headed downstairs. Tommy and TJ ran in front of us. By the time we got down there, they were already sitting at the table. I put Jordan in his high chair and Josiah in his booster seat. Tommy reached to grab something.
"Hold on. What did we forget?" They looked at each other confused and then TJ whispered in Tommy's ear.
"Ohhhhh." They held hands and closed their eyes.
"Lord, thank you for yummy food with sugar. Please make it healthy and make our body feel nice. Thank you. Amen."
