Pen - pen: Disarm my Pain

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I keep on hoping that my messages will be delivered,
Even if they were left unanswered,
for hours, for days, for weeks,
I am still grateful that they were never sent.

I will not stop sending long messages to remind you about your lunch,
About the most important thing that happened to me every day,
about the simple things I enjoy,
about the food that I ate,
about the meme that I saw,
and about the time I spent with you,

I never really care if you don't read those messages,
I know, it is boring to read long messages,
that were similar in passages, even scanning it between the pages seems to be boring for me,
But they were posted in our conversation, you can come back and check them later,
I am not seeking validation or appreciation for what I do to you,
I am just glad that you are there to receive those messages,
That releases me from the blue,

It may sound desperate, but I am not forcing you to hear me,
You have the right to listen to everything that you want to know,
this is not my story, this is not my show,
this is not my channel, that forces us to grow
Into someone who will never be us,
I will be more grateful to have you as you are,
then to change you to somebody I haven't seen before.

I enjoy the bare minimum, and I am happy for extras,
I am contented, I don't seek for more,
The pebbles on the beach are full of similar tones,
And I picked the rarest stone,
Unique and pristine, there's no need to hone,
In the dark it sparks and it brings me light,
and in the morning it shines from afar that guides my sight,

I am afraid of losing,
but I bet more than the money I have in my purse,
the stakes are high, but my optimistic side tells me to pursue it,
I don't know if I can see the end of this game but I will assure you,
That I will be here no matter what it takes,
knowing that it will break me, I will receive anything this decision makes.