Pen - pen: Disarm my Pain

VOLUME

Tonight, I realize that I am always begging for the things that I should receive easily,
I am always making the effort and end up questioning myself if I was a priority,
The majority of my time was reserved for them,
I stay awake for an hour after saying goodnight,
Just in case you need me,

I am always looking forward to talking to you,
It energizes me, I don't know if I am pissing you off by texting you endlessly, but that's who I am,
I don't owe an apology,

Is it my problem to wait?
Is it necessary for you to hate?
If I want to know if you already ate?
and try to understand why you're waking up late.

I wish my texts were read.
They were always sent, but never delivered,
Missing the time I spent,
on waiting, till your status turns green,
I hope you reply, I hope that you've seen,
I wonder if it's not, and now that's mean,
Sometimes I don't understand myself,
Am I doing this to keep my sanity?
or is it leading me to insanity?

I wish you to call me,
even when I don't ask for it,
I wish to receive a text,
When the time comes and I don't text first,
I wish people would try to be as good as me,
When I am devastated and nearly dying,
I wish to be with you, for some time,
Was it too much too?