Pen - pen: Disarm my Pain

SHOE LACE

Tangled, were too old for playing games that we might break our bones,
seeing those playgrounds full of laughter by trying to smile with our short listed sugar cones,
the light that passes through those windows in our attic never lit up the place,
but with those smiles I beg for something that last till those snow mans make,

I am not happy by just sitting here,
trying to touch my broken laces on my shoes,
seeing myself so old that makes me lose,
am I just a little old granny that waiting an egg on the goose?,

Can you place the fire inside my fireplace,
give me some warm clothes when winter comes,
lacing those clothes that touches my skin,
my poor old skin, my poor old face, so thin,

I used to learn things from my adulthood,
just by observing things by hearing those words of motherhood,
i remember how father told the story of robin hood,
and his power that saves the people even it's from the bad side of the saying "Good",

oh! i missed the apple pies in the oven,
those pies that brings smiles when the morning windows was open,
the green tea was warm and those flowers bleed in red,
they're on their first bloom, i don't want to see them dead,

my birds are ready for there morning chirps,
singing through those happy little taps,
bathing along those rays from the sun,
a morning radiant psalm,

no one wonders how we tried so hard,
telling ourselves to be happy, even it's quite hard,
eating those peppers with a touch of lard,
a dinner of victory for a lonely old, so tired,

chasing those tears in the night didn't make anything better,
telling myself "what should i do?" never take those people to push further,
how to make ourselves plain if we are already salty?,
telling those people around you that you're neat, but in fact you're dirty,

Trying to pick up the shoe lace to fix my shoe,
telling myself to put those feet i have to try those horrible shoe that looks new,
"what?" a word that bangs in my head that the other people do,
so what if an early age like me trying to copy what elders do?

the feeling is strange and those eyes were melting,
figuring out things that makes those scenes frying,
i am swimming from my tears and begging,
how about a second chance to tie a lace? from lies it takes?,
the answer is silence and the hands were cold,
the surrounding was empty and night was old,
resting in this old bed, i am tired from this nightmares of entropy,
how about the next scenes if i rest to the living room?,
let's see.

Too short for a free verse poem,
if your'e lonely, too bad! i am just dying,
hoping to see you upwards when i leave too sudden,
secretly saying goodbye to your ears, i am a fallen.