Pen - pen: Disarm my Pain

POLYESTER TEARS

Shears, is his name,
And my hands was his target,
For the haunting games that never get started,
A blink of an eye, A strike of a comet,

...

Setting the mood to put myself to sleep,
A place where I usually hide my tears,
Where I secretly keep,
Thousands of demons haunting my dreams from night till day,
I hope you'll enjoy reading this someday,

The curtains in the room was thick,
the strong light can't pass through the window,
Hiding the truth from the shadow,
and death isn't the answer for this tasteless life full of shallow,

The music from my phone was dead,
And those pillows was wet,
For the only reason I never slept,
Without waterfalls in my eyes,
Or sometimes I was covered in sweat,

I didn't run for something,
Nor chase someone else,the only reason I was tired of hoping,
Is when people never tired of  asking,
And didn't satisfied with your answers,
They left with nothing.

Not a bridge, not an overpass,
No crossings, no stoplights,
No billboards, no shopping signs,
No guarantee of escaping,
Without paying the bills,
Even fishes used to breath,
With their gills,

This is a plastic memory,
A forbidden electronic page,
No human, no trees, no sage,
No print outs, no discs, no stage,
No songs, no singers, no pledge,
Not you or me, nor everybody,
Could remember this,
Rage,

Lack of connections,
This is the saddest part of improvement and enlightenment,
For it only changes the things we used to be with,
And replaces the useless things that starts with seeds,
This is a polyester and plastics tears,
Where should I put the shears?,

Shears is his name,
Cutting the red wires in my wrists,
The life support can't bring any good,
Even my life didn't get supported,
And life shouldn't be wasted,
By just letting myself tear,
In this sick bed for years.

I was finally free,
But not as free as I can flee,
For the ashes of mine was scattered,
And a jar was waiting to be rendered.