Queen Of Hell || Dean Winchester

11. Castiel

I went to my room and quietly closed the door. "Castiel. I need to talk to you." When I felt a gust of wind, a smile settled on my lips. "Hello Sara," Cass said as I turned to face him. "Cass. I wanted to thank you for what you did for Dean. And me." He looked to the side. "It was my order." I nodded. "But that wasn't the only reason, right?" Since he didn't reply, I had my answer and took a step toward him to hug him. "Thank you."
He seemed uncomfortable at first, but then he put his arms around me. I glanced at him and suddenly became serious. "For some time now I've been having these dreams...well, they're more like visions. That's very strange, don't you think? I mean, I'm not a prophet or anything, right?" I laughed nervously. "And the dreams always have this message. It was always about Dean... and he was tortured." Cass looked at me with his piercing blue eyes. "Yes, this is strange. I will find out what it is all about." He put his hand on my shoulder and paused for a moment before vanishing before my eyes again.

***
I considered going to Dean, but he would probably like to be alone for now. So, I sat in the library and read a book. But after a while I couldn't wait any longer and ran to his room. When I knocked, I was startled, because the door was opened immediately. I smiled slightly at Dean. "Hey."
"Hey."
"Can I come in?"
He thought about it for a moment, but then replied, "Sure." We both sat down on the bed. "I just wanted to know if you're...okay." Dean looked at me. "Yeah. I'm fine." I nodded and took his hand, but he pulled it away. This confused me a bit. "Sorry, if it was too quick I..." He shook his head.
"No, it's just... I don't know if I can still be with you. The things that happened, the things I've done..." He sighed.
"Look, you are a wonderful girl and you deserve the best. I know that I'm not it." I got up and knelt in front of him. "I don't care, Dean. I want you." He looked at me with a sad look in his eyes. "No, you're better without me. I'm sorry. I can't do this to you." I stood up and walked to the door. "It's okay. You need time. I understand that. But
remember, I don't care what you've done down there."
I sighed. "Dean, I know you need time and that's okay. But please, don't just push me away from you now. I haven't had an easy time without you either. If you really want to break up with me then I have to accept that, even though it's completely absurd. All that matters is that you're back. Here with me."

Dean sat still for a moment, then he slowly got up and walked towards me. With a movement so fast, it seemed as if he had teleported, he grabbed me by the waist and hugged me tightly. When he let go again, he looked deep into my eyes. "You know, the only thing that kept me going down there was the hope of seeing you again someday." My heart started racing and a smile spread across my lips. "You want to talk about that?" He smiled and shook his head. "No, not really. I'd rather know how you were feeling during that time."
I sat down on the bed again. Dean joined me and put an arm around me. "Well, almost every night I had a vision of you being tortured. That's why I started drinking a lot. I was hoping it would somehow make me forget, but it
didn't." He raised an eyebrow. "Visions?" I nodded. "Yes. I don't know what it's all about, but Cass will find out." "Wait, you know Castiel?" I looked him in the eyes. "I do. We met shortly before your rise. But don't worry, we can trust him." My voice was soft as I continued speaking. "Dean, can I ask you something?"
"Sure."

"I saw something else in my visions and I know you don't wanna talk about it but... is it true that you tortured souls in hell as well?" His face became cold as he slowly nodded and immediately, I realized that it wasn't easy for him to talk about it.
"It wasn't four months, you know. It was four months up here, but down there... I don't know. Time's different. It was more like 40 years."
He wiped through his hair.
"They, uh... They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you... Until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly... I would be whole again... like magic... just so they could start in all over. And Alastair... at the end of every day... every one... he would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack... if I put souls on... if I started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For 30 years, I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Sara. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls." A tear started rolling down his cheek.
"The... the things that I did to them." I hugged him tightly. I felt so sorry for him. "How I feel... This... inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sara. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing."
Gently, I stroked away his tear.
"Don't let this destroy you Dean. You are a good person. You may not think so, but I do. You have sacrificed so much for the people like no one else. You deserve the best. I know you will get through this and I will support you on every step."

Cass, Sam, Dean and I were walking through a town with loaded guns. "Westercrest" was written on a brown wooden sign. Suddenly, we heard a loud bark. When I turned around, I spotted a dog rushing towards us. He caught Dean and threw him to the ground. I immediately ran to Dean and shot the dog, but it was too late. Dean was lying on the street, breathing heavily, covered in blood. He wasn't moving, but his heart was still beating.
"You're gonna be okay," I whispered, but I knew that he wouldn't be. "Please stay with me." Tears ran down my cheek as I took his hand. But then it went cold.
My eyes widened as I watched his face. "No" I said, shaking my head in denial. "Dean, please, don't leave me..."

I woke up in a cold sweat. It was just a nightmare.