Queen Of Hell || Dean Winchester

16. Life and death

I woke up in an unfamiliar room. The walls were white and strange light fell on me from above. Slowly, I stood up and walked out. When I saw the different rooms, I quickly realized that I was in a hospital. But there was something strange about the whole thing. The wound that the hellhound had caused was completely gone. Not even a scar had remained. Confused, I walked on until I unexpectedly saw a familiar person.

Dean was sitting at one of the beds and was holding somebody's hand. I had to gasp, when I realized who this person was. It was me. A queasy feeling came over me. Was I dead? "You have to hang in there," Dean whispered quietly while stroking my hair. "When Cass gets his
powers back, I'm sure he can heal you."
"Dean?" I said in despair but he didn't answer. I wished I could talk to him, but I was overcome with an uneasy feeling that I might never be able to do that again.
When I heard voices, I turned around. Sam entered the room followed by a doctor who was holding a small tablet in his hand. "She's in a coma. I have to be honest with you. We can't say for sure when or if she will wake up, but personally, I think her chances are pretty bad. Maybe you should think about..."

"No." Dean's voice filled the whole room. "I will not give up on her. She will wake up." The doctor nodded and left us alone. "Dean, I just got a call from Ellen. It looks like there's a ghost in a psychiatric hospital."

"I can't just leave her, Sammy. Not like this." I could clearly hear desperation in his voice. "I know, but I can't do this alone. Please, I really need your help." With a sigh Dean got up and looked at me one last time before he followed Sam out of the room.
I wanted to follow them too but then I spotted a young woman with dark hair, that went right up to her chin, who was looking me straight in the eye. "Can you see me?" I asked, confused. She nodded and reached out her hand to me. "Come. It's time to go."

"What, no! I'm not going anywhere. Who are you anyway?" She smiled kindly at me. "I'm Tessa and I'm going to show you that death is nothing to be afraid of." I shook my head heavily. "No. I can't leave now. Castiel will save me." Tessa laughed lightly. "The angel? Sara, Dear, no one can save you now. If you want you can stay here, or you can come with me. I know it's hard to let go, but you won't regret it." I tried to ignore her and ran away as fast as I could. But what if she was right and Cass really couldn't save me? Luckily, I didn't have to wander around
psychiatric hospital for so long before I found Dean again. He was sitting at a table with a doctor who just asked him "How many drinks do you have a week?"

"Well, I gotta sleep sometime. So, uh, what's seven days times, somewhere in the mid-fifties. You ever feel any, uh, cold spots or get a chill walking through the hospital?"
"Not that I can remember. If I had?"

Excitedly, I continued to listen. "It means there's a ghost around." She sighed softly. "Okay. When was the last time you were in a long-term relationship?" Dean's look suddenly became extremely sad. I felt the desperate need to hug him, but unfortunately this was denied to me. It was very painful to see him hurt like this. He tried to hide the sadness. "Once. Have the patients reported seeing anything weird?" The doctor started to chuckle. "In here? All the time. Let's talk about this relationship. How long has it been since you broke up?" He raised his eyebrows. "We didn't really break up," he replied in a low voice. "She was injured and is in hospital now. It looks very bad for her." The doctor's face fell. "I'm so sorry." She reached out and touched his hand. He just stared at her. "You really cared for her, didn't you?" He nodded and looked to the side.
"Yeah, and I still do. I have secretly wanted a relationship since a long time, but with my job it always got difficult. But with her...I was happier than I had been in a long time. But it seems like I don't deserve to be happy." She just smiled slightly at him instead of saying anything back. What kind of person was she? Dean had told someone about his feelings, what was a rarity, and she didn't even try to comfort him.

Angrily, I pushed a vase which fell to the floor and broke along with the flowers. All the patients immediately looked in wonder at the place where I was standing. I was just as surprised. How could I do that?

Since they couldn't see anyone, they turned back to their activities. Only Dean's gaze was still directed at me. All of a sudden, Tessa was standing in front of me again. "Sara, it's time to come with me. You're just giving Dean hope when there isn't any left. You have to let him go." Her words were like knives in my chest. I couldn't believe she had said that. Tears filled my eyes as I took a step toward her. "I love you Dean," I whispered and was about to take Tessa's hand when I felt a power running through my body.

When I opened my eyes, I was lying in the hospital again, but this time, Cass was standing in front of me. He slowly took his hand away from my forehead.
"Cass," I exclaimed happily and pulled him into a tight hug. "How is that even possible. I saw a woman, named Tessa, and she said that no one could save me. How...?" He smiled at me. That was the first time I remembered seeing him smile. Actually, I didn't care how he had saved me, the main thing was that I was back.

"Thanks Cass. I owe you a favor." He shook his head. "No, you don't. It's enough for me that you are back again." Overjoyed, I grinned at him. He was such a good friend.
Because we couldn't call the boys, we had to wait at the hospital. From time to time a few doctors came and checked me out. They were all speechless from my fast recovery.
The whole time, I talked with Castiel until the door finally opened. When Dean saw me, he ran to he and lifted me up while hugging me. I laughed happily and stroked his cheek. I never wanted to let go of him again. I also gave Sam a quick hug. "Thank you, Cass and sorry. I was not very kind to you." Dean smiled at him and gave me a long kiss. "I forgive you." Sam pointed to the door. "Cass, I think we should leave them alone for a minute." He raised his eyebrows twice before they left the room. I wrapped my arms around Dean's neck.

"Thank you for keeping your promise and talking about your feelings. That means a lot to me."
"You heard me?" He seemed a little embarrassed. I nodded and kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "I thought it was kinda cute." He rolled his eyes but continued smiling. Then I became serious. "Have you ever heard of a Tessa? She wanted me to go with her." He frowned. "Yes, she is a reaper. But there are clearly worse than her, like Billie for example. I sighed in relief. "Good, I was starting to worry she would gonna come back."
"Now you don't have to worry about anything. I will protect you." When I looked into his eyes this time, I actually expected to see pure happiness. But instead, his look became sad. "What is it?" I asked quietly. "I love you Baby, more than everything. And that's why I have to let you go." Confused, I stared at him. "What do you mean?" He brushed his hand over my cheek.
"You can't stay with me."
"What are you talking about?" I replied a little scared. "Every time you're with me, you get hurt. Every damn time. I thought I could protect you, but I was wrong. I want to give you the opportunity to live a normal life."

I shook my head violently. I couldn't believe what he just said. A strong pain went through my chest and I started to tremble. "I don't want a normal life. I want a life with you!" I cried desperately. "Please, don't do this. Please. I'm begging you." I put my head on his chest and pressed my body tightly against his. Dean carefully put his arms around me. "I'm so sorry, but this the best thing I can do for you. I couldn't forgive myself if something happened to you again. That's the only way to protect you." I was not willing to give up on him. I was sure I could find a way to stay with him. "Dean, listen to me. We have saved each other so many times and we will always find a way. Please, don't do this to me." But nothing that I said convinced him. How could I go on with my life without him? It wasn't even an option. "So that's it now? After all we've been through together, I'm just supposed to leave and never see you again? You can't demand me to do that!" He remained silent and hugged me tighter, but I pushed him away. I didn't want to see him anymore. Well, actually I wanted to, but it hurt too much. I couldn't
believe it. It couldn't end like this, not after everything we've been through.