Lustful ; Draco Malfoy

chapter eleven ; victoria.

"She's a mess of gorgeous chaos, and you can see it in her eyes."

VICTORIA.

I sat on the brown leather sofa in my common room waiting for Marion. I had time to reflect on my and hers bickering earlier. If me and Draco were causing me and my friends to fall out, he wasn't worth it. I planned to go to Professor Slughorn and demand a new tutor and explain Draco is a dreadful tutor. It's kind of petty, but I don't care. He can fall head first off the astronomy tower for all I care.

I let time pass by updating my journal that I have let rot in my bag for weeks now.

Dear Diary,

The first week back at Hogwarts has been a nightmare. Pansy and I have some tension between us and not a good kind of tension. She seems to have snuggled up to Daphne out of nowhere. But that could be just nothing.

Marion and I had a little fallout earlier all because I don't trust her enough. But I have no idea where she was getting that from.

And Blaise was maybe, just maybe, being a little bit flirty with me in class. He was being touchy with me and told me he liked my smile.

Fuck knows what to do with my life anymore. But being around Draco I feel more connected to my mother and father. There is something oddly familiar about Draco. But it feels like he's hiding something as well. He keeps disappearing from lessons. I followed him to see if he did go to spend time with Astoria, but I don't think he did since he just vanished from thin air.

Oh, another thing...

Me and Draco slept with each other. In the library of all places. But I felt like shit afterwards. He left me half-naked on the sofa, looking like a complete and utter idiot. I feel used. Like really used. I even showed him my scar and tattoo from where I was stabbed. I'm insecure about it. I feel like it makes my body look unattractive. No one knows what happened that night in the orphanage.

It traumatized me. I was always picking myself apart at such a young age, and the fact that I was already picking my naked body apart in the mirror made me feel like shit. I was stabbed. With a rusty fork. I wake up with occasional nightmares every so often, and it feels like getting stabbed all over again.

Sometimes I wish that I at least knew my parents. I didn't care if I couldn't live with them, but to know them anyway would've helped me as a child. To know why I am the way I am.

Anyway, goodbye for now.

I slammed my journal shut when I saw a tall figure standing in the corner of my eye. I got a hint of his scent. His dreamy-. No. Stop. His boring mahogany apple scent.

"Drowning in your thoughts again I see, Berlanti," Draco said loudly, causing me to slightly jump out of my skin.

"No!" I snapped at him, hugging my journal close to my chest.

"You are."

"I am not. Leave me alone Draco, I'm not in the mood for your insults right now." I told.

"Make me leave you alone." He said coming into view.

My heart started skipping beats. It felt like my heart was going to fall out of my mouth. I looked up at him standing there, and he had that usual cheeky grin on his face.

"I'm waiting." Said Draco, with his hands in his pockets.

"You'll be waiting a long time then." I laughed slightly at the words coming out of my mouth.

"So, you don't want me to leave you alone?" His grin was only growing on that handsome face of his. I shouldn't be thinking this way about him. He's a dick.