Lustful ; Draco Malfoy

chapter thirty-six ; impermanence.

DRACOS POV.

Draco and El had fallen asleep in a weird way. They'd fell asleep on the bottom end of the bed, with El beside him.

He'd woken up a few times and turn around to hug her from behind, breathing in her cinnamon and vanilla scent.

He had played with her curls, moved the hair out of her face, placed a kiss on her cheek, before falling back asleep peacefully.

Draco would do this a few time during the night, making sure she was still there.

One selfish trait about Draco tonight was that he was glad Marion had left school. He wasn't worried that someone was going to catch him with Berlanti.

Draco had always said he'd never be caught with someone below his blood status.

He knew that Elizabeth was a pureblood, but she hadn't been raised like one, and that used to make him feel dirty for touching her or breathing the same air as her.

But he saw something in her tonight. An innocent, unloved child. He saw a girl who never felt loved, and so she searched for validation in someone who gave her attention.

Draco could relate to this. He was brought up around death eaters and wealth. His feelings were never a priority in his household, so Draco had looked for a distraction from his real life.

But if anyone knew this, they'd never look at him the same way again.

He hated himself for using Elizabeth as a distraction. He could've found someone better. But that was the issue, there wasn't anyone better.

Elizabeth's lust for him was unconditional. It never seemed to run out. Draco was satisfied knowing she was always going to be there for him whenever he wanted to use her.

She was a good distraction.

However, Draco couldn't bring himself to use her tonight.

Once again, he saw something in her that he'd never seen before. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. But it was there, and he liked it.

Was it love? No. Draco couldn't ever love someone, as he loved himself too much. He didn't have any love to spare.

Was it hate? No. Draco couldn't hate her. That would also be selfish. He'd let himself get vulnerable infront of her. How could he hate someone who sat by him in his weak moments?

It was a case of lust. A strong sexual desire. It wasn't the physical attraction he felt. Yes he found Elizabeth Berlanti attractive, but he felt desired towards her. He felt consumed with lust.

He constantly wanted to be around her, to touch her skin, to kiss her lips, to hear her voice.

He was lustful.

Draco was in a deep sleep, before he turned around to wrap his arm around El, but instead of touching her his hand touched the sheets beneath him.

Draco snapped his eyes open and was surprised to see that she wasn't there.

He laid there for a few moments, trying to remember if he heard her get up in the night, but he couldn't remember.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes because of the light shining through the windows.

"Shit." He cursed at the sun. It was now morning. He took a quick scan around the room but she wasn't there.

He'd looked for a note to say that maybe she'd gone to class early, or breakfast early to eat some pancakes. He knew El loved pancakes.

There was nothing.