SMILE [COMPLETED]

[60] Smile

"I was angry with the world. I was always the baddie who makes trouble wherever I go.

I hated my life. I hated myself. I hate everything.

I have been living my life to waste, like a trash that can be thrown away anytime of the day.

I used to break the rules, used to breaking things that comes my way.

I met a lot of people.

I trust and got betrayed in the most unexpected way.

I wasted my life, my time, not thinking that I am about to regret what I have chosen all this time.

I wanted to die.

I always wanted to die, to disappear and be gone.

I wanted to until I don't.

I started to love living my life.

I was just starting to love living.

Masaya ako, finally. Lalo na at unti-unti kong nahahanap ang sarili ko kasama ang mga dahilan ng kagustuhan kong mabuhay.

The spark was too little at first, but I guess it was enough to keep me going.

Ngayon, I want to fight and live my life.

Because of my friends - Sheela, Mei, Nath, Jovey, Jeff, Aeron, Ben and Jin, who were always there with me like a family.

My one and only family - kuya Zero, who stood and took care of me like a real sister.

And my bestfriend, my family, my love, my life, and superhero - Brikx, the reason that kept me going. That spark who have been the only light I have every step of the way.

I love you.

I realized na life is really short.

Dati, gustong-gusto kong mamatay dahil sa mga problema ko. Dahil wala yung mga magulang ko sa tabi ko, dahil sa ex-bestfriend ko na sya naman palang worst nightmare ko, at sa pakiramdam kong wala akong kaligayahan na deserve sa buhay.

Pero I was wrong.

I got blinded by these unecessary things that kept me away from seeing what's really important, what I actually have - friends.

I forgot na may mga kaibigan ako na syang pamilya ko mula umpisa hanggang sa huli.

To Sheela, you have been the kindest and most caring person I have ever met. You are always the sweetest kahit na hindi ka madalas magsalita, you always make sure to keep me feeling warm.

Mei, you are always the one and only partner in crime that I could ever wish. Lagi ka nandyan para sabayan ako sa mga trip at basag-ulo ko. Though di mo nasasabi, nararamdaman ko lahat ng support at care mo for me.

Nath, ikaw yung always straight-forward sa pagsasabi ng nararamdaman. Though medyo harsh, truth is always hard and painful to accept. You made sure na alam ko yung realidad kahit medyo masakit atleast I know you wanted what's the best.

Jovey, the best supporter and the cheerleader of mine. You always make sure na I can be confident in every way. Lagi ka nandyan para i-push ako sa mga bagay na alam mong kaya ko. And for that you showed your care for me the most.

Jeff, Aeron, Ben and Jin, the boys will be the boys. I meant that the care and support has been there since the begining. Always the guards, the heroes, and at the same time the peace keepers na laging andyan althroughout every moment.

To Zero, the best kuya in the world. Never gets old everytime I get treated like a princess. The one who never left and make sure I still have a family. You are always there standing like a mother, a father, and a very responsible brother to me.

And my one and only Brikx.

I just want to make sure you know and remember this.

I love you so much.

You are the one na nagparamdam sakin kung paano maging masaya sa buhay.

Ikaw yung nagpaalala sakin na pahalagahan kung anong importante.

Ikaw yung dahilan bakit gusto kong lumaban at gawin ang lahat para mabuhay.

You made me realize na life can be colorful and full of happiness after a storm.

Ikaw yung dahilan bakit I wanted to live my life to the fullest and make sure na we can be together until we are old and gray.

I always remember you as the beam of smile that always bring happiness to me.

Your smile, it's the best thing that I can ever have and see in this entire life.

I wanted to see you smilling like you akways do when we are together.

Naalala ko at palagi kong maalala ang pangako mo sakin na kahit anong mangyari, hindi mawawala ang ngiti mo. At I expect you to keep your promise with me.

Right now, I know you might be crying.

Off course, this record will only be played if ever something went wrong. Right?

I am sorry guys.

Sorry kung nagsinungaling ako. Kung nagkunwari akong ayos lang lahat. Kung naglihim ako sa inyong lahat.

I am suffering from a heart condition that needs immediate transplant.

I wanted to die, before.

But when I realized I don't want to leave you all, I crave living.

I wanted to live for you.

Please forgive me.

Please make sure you all are keeping the smiles for me.

My only favor to each and everyone of you, please smile for me no matter what. Be strong for each other.

Please make sure na okay lang si Brikx. Kayo na bahala sa kanya, Jeff, Aeron, Ben, Jin and kuya Zero. Wag nyo sya pababayaan.

Jovey, Sheela, Mei and Nath, bisitahin nyo palagi si Smiley and Brikx. Okay?

And Brikx, take care of yourself, take care of Smiley. I hope you don't lose your smile kasi I know Smiley is there to remind you of that.

I am sorry I failed to keep my promise and I made you sad today. You maybe sad but please don't be sad for too long.

I hope one day you forgive me and be happy with the memories we shared.

I love you so much Brikx.

Please keep smilling for me."

"Doc, please hand this over to Zero."

Nakangiti kong bilin sa doctor ko.

Kahit na mahirap at masakit sa dibdib, sinigurado kong nasabi ko lahat ng dapat kong sabihin at walang pagsisi sa kalooban.

The sound of the plane is too much for me.

I know if I can stay a little longer, I will be reaching America and get the immediate help that I need.

But I can't.

I wanted but my heart is about to give up.

I just have to close my eyes and make sure I remember everything before I start to loose myself.

Sheela, Mei, Nath, Jovey, Jeff, Aeron, Ben, Jin, kuya Zero, my baby Smiley, and my love - Brikx.

The best things that happened in my life.

End.