The Start of the Fall

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

LJ'S POINT OF VIEW

"Here, eat this," inilapag ko sa tabi ni Desirene ang bagong hatid na pagkain para sa amin. It's enough for one person only so it's better to I give it to her.

Galing sa underground prison ay ibinalik nila si Desirene dito kung saan kami unang dinala. They promised to let us go if I cooperate with them which I did. Nakipag-cooperate ako sa kanila at sinabi ang lahat ng nalalaman ko tungkol dun sa mga gamit at sa kanila Mr. Hawker pero hindi lahat no'n ay totoo. Alam ko kasing wala talaga silang balak pakawalan kami pero wala akong choice kun'di sundin sila dahil alam kong hanggang may pakinabang kami sa kanila ay hindi nila kami sasaktan.

Tiningnan niya lang ito. "Gusto ko nang umuwi."

Heto na naman siya. Imbes na kumain ay mamumukmok sa sulok. It's been a cycle every freaking day. All of this is exhausting me even more.

Being in this place for days felt like an eternity of torture. Akala ko kapag pumanig ako sa kanila ay aayos kahit papaano ang buhay namin dito, pero mali pala ako. They treated us like rats, giving us stale food that's not enough even for one person. There's no bed and we can't even do anything other than stare on the wall for hours.

As time pass by, we feel like we are slowly losing ourselves.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago kinuha ang plato. "Huwag ka ng magmatigas. You'll starve if you won't eat."

"Ayoko nga sabi!" Tinulak niya ako. Sa ginawa niya ay aksidente niyang natabig yung plato.

The sound from the shattered plate irritated me and stir something inside me- an emotion that I have been painfully harboring for days.

Now, we are both going to starve.

"Ano ba, Desirene?! Gusto mo bang mamatay sa gutom!" Inis kong tanong sa kaniya.

"I'd rather starve than stay in this hell hole!"

"Ano bang nangyayari sayo?!"

"No, Lj! Anong nangyayari sayo?!" She pointed her finger on me accusingly. "You we're hopeful at first and then you suddenly changed the other after going with that James guy. Tapos hindi mo man lang gustong sabihin sa'kin kung bakit na parang hindi mo ako pinsan."

I looked away. "There's no point. You won't understand anyway."

Pumunta siya sa harap ko. "Then make me. Hindi yung ganito ka. It felt like you suddenly lose hope about everything. You're cold and all. Ikaw 'tong nagsabi sa akin na magtiwala dahil makakatakas din tayo dito tapos ganito lang din naman pala. Parang bigla ka nalang sumuko ng walang pasabi."

I keep my mouth shut. Umiiwas lang ako sa kaniya kapag sinusubukan niyang hulihin ang mga tingin ko.

"Why do you keep ignoring me? Sabihin mo sa akin kung anong nangyari. I'm worried about you. Hindi ko gustong ganiyan ka. Ano na lang sasabihin ng mga kaibigan natin kapag nagkikita ulit tayo?"

"Stop hoping. We won't ever see them again."

"I know they will! They will still come here to find us. Hindi nila tayo papabayaan-"

"Oh please, stop the delusion! No one is coming because they're dead! Wala na sila, Desirene, and we are stuck here forever!"

Desirene shook her head. "You are lying."