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"I love you, Leemin." she speaks, placing a motherly kiss on the top of my head.
I'm engulfed in warmth. My heart feels like it's fluttering around a fire that emanates heat. I haven't felt like this in years.
"Mum?"
"Wake up." her voice sounds distorted, like a robot. It scares me.
"Mum, what do you mean?"
Everything turns dark. Pitch black. I try to open my eyes but it feels like they're already wide open. That's when I notice the figure staring at me from the hallway.
Oh.
It moves closer.
Closer and closer and closer.
So close that I can figure out the face.
"Holy fucking shit, you scared the living hell out of me!" I shout and jump, my back hitting the wall beside the bed. I'm sitting down on the bed now.
"Sorry.." he has an apologetic grin on his face. "You should've seen your face."
Jisung sits down on the edge of the bed.
"Shut up."
"Can I sleep here? I promise I won't touch you in any way."
"Why?" I raise an eyebrow, although he can't see it because of the night.
"It's scary down there."
"Alright, I'll go then."
He stops me when I try to crawl on the bed towards its edge in order to get off of it. "Nevermind," Jisung lets go. "Sorry." he mumbles.
"It's fine." I walk away in the dusk. "Good night."
"Sleep well."
The couch is tepid. There's no blanket because he took it upstairs. It's fine, it's not like there's a need for one.
I lie on my back, looking at the ceiling. Like every night, thoughts start running through my mind.
Did he really try to hang himself because of me?
That's horrible. If he did die, then never would I have been able to forgive myself. I wouldn't have even known.
Just the picture of Jisung, or anyone, trying to take their own life, it being mainly my fault, makes me want to puke.
☆
Morning arises, the sun coming out to warm up the atmosphere. I slowly start to wake up when the sun finds my face through the grey curtains pulled close together.
