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As soon as I barge inside, my mind floods with Jisung.
Jisung, Jisung, Jisung, my Jisung.
I don't want to admit it, I don't want to feel this way about him, I don't want to fall for him. I don't want to have anything to do with him.
Yet I can't help it.
Can't help the way my heart thumps and speeds up whenever he pops into my head.
My legs hurt. I walked for quite a while in such a short time— it's ten now.
And I'm already exhausted.
I'm on the verge of giving up on changing, although it's Monday tomorrow and I have work and I should go. I won't.
Not when I feel like this.
Confused and mad and upset and depressed and miserable.
Haein and Hyewon can't see me like this, with huge eyebags and eyes red from crying.
How embarrassing! I cried like a toddler, with snot running down my chin and all.
To avoid my mind averting to Han again, I remain downstairs in the living room, watching some television.
It doesn't help at all.
In fact, the movie makes it ten times worse with the main lead proposing to his lover on a damn beach.
"Oh God," I groan, hitting the back of my head against the couch aggressively.
The only thing I can do to forget my thoughts is to get drunk.
But hell, I'd much rather get run over by the slowest train, get dragged under it and die in agony than put my mouth on alcohol.
It ruined the people I loved.
Jisung ran away because I got slightly mad at him. Because he was intoxicated out of his mind. I think so, at least.
What else could have I done, though?
Sighing, I switch the channel to watch the news.
It's pretty much totally dark, with nothingness surrounding me. Merely the TV provides light, being the only thing doing so at the moment.
Something interesting comes up, and I cross my legs, immersed in what the presenter has to say.
"A necklace worth hundreds was stolen today at eight PM. Residents say that they saw someone in a pink hoodie run suspiciously. That's all the details we have until now. If you know more contact us at.."
