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I instantly break down like a baby.
Jisung is home.
"Where the fuck have y-you been?!" I manage to choke out, tackling him down on top of me.
He yelps, surprised and confused, but hugs back, suddenly starting to cry too.
Great, now we're both a weeping mess.
His cold tears drop on my neck and mine in his hair.
I've been so lonely, felt so forlorn, more morose than ever without him.
"I'm so sorry!" he wails, and I squeeze him against me, not knowing if I'm trying to reassure myself, or him. "I couldn't find Doongie! I'm sorry!"
My heart breaks.
He left to look for the cat he lost— lost, not hurt— and is now hysterically crying because he couldn't find him.
Pulling away from him, still embracing him in my arms, I support his head above mine by cupping his cheeks.
We stare at each other, tears still spilling. One tear of his falls on my lips. It's salty, tasty.
"It's– it's fine," my words stammer because of how tight my throat is. "but where is he, Jisung?"
"I don't know, fuck!"
"How did he even leave? how–"
"I left the door open. I thought it would be a great idea to get some fresh air into the house and– and Doongie must've left through it.."
It wasn't Jisung who left, it was Doongie. My second cat.
"Why didn't you tell me that? Jisung! why did you just leave without telling me anything?"
"I'm sorry, Minho.. I thought you were too mad to care."
"Too mad to care? are you hearing yourself right now?!"
Unbelievable. He thinks that, when in reality, I felt as if the blood couldn't reach my heart anymore.
"Well, you were mad at me!" he reminds, his lips quivering.
"At the situation, not you!"
At this point we're just screaming at each other. It's not really a heated argument, nor are we mad at the other.
It's actually not an argument at all.
"I just drank! something I was never allowed to, Minho! I was curious.."
"And you lost Doongie!" my voice can't help but raise. "alcohol fucking killed everyone that were once everything to me, Jisung!"
That shuts him up, yet I continue, unable to stop myself from dribbling all my thoughts.
Am I being too harsh?
My feelings are all over the place. I feel overwhelmed.
"Do you have any idea how much I despise alcohol? how I don't want to be associated to it anymore in any way? it hurts me, Jisung, it really does." I lower my tone— it cracks down in pain. "it hurts that you were uncaring enough to gulp it all down when you knew."
