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I wake up with a will to live like never. I'm determined on not dying until Jisung's mine.
If he has what I think he does, I'll study hard and help him. And once I cure his illness, I will go visit my mother's grave for the first time in a while. With my boyfriend.
So, as I'm on my way to work, I pay attention to my phone, trying to study through the cracks.
My eyes hurt, I get dizzy. Ever since I was little I had motion sickness. Focusing on a still object while moving makes me nauseous.
It's for Jisung, I remind myself, continuing to read everything I must know about this horrific malady.
"Sorry," I mumble, more to myself, when I bump into someone.
I'm desperate, as if we don't have much time left together. We do. He's too young— he might not even have what I think.
My poor ill man said he can't kiss me because he is sick. Does it spread through saliva? is it deadly? usually, cancer doesn't spread.
He has kept his disease hidden for so long.
Of course, I feel a little bit disappointed. I feel like I had the right to know all this time.
Especially now that I'm head over heels for him. What will I do? my life depends on this boy. Literally.
Alright, I need to think rationally. Focus on the present. Make him mine. Make us live a steady life. Be happy.
The headache is getting worse, all the pressure suddenly put on me. I need to do this, then do that, and then that, and then..
It's too much. I'm not even a legal age yet.
Though it's not a choice. It's a must, even a want. I want him to live his best life with me.
Maybe he didn't have a happy, stress-free childhood, but now it's time to show him how to live life.
Not like I know how to, anyway, because my sunny youth consisted of going on vacations with my parents and getting tucked in bed by my mother.
Teenagers don't like that. Jisung would want more. More than I can give him.
"Yah! Lee Minho!!" the voice of someone who reminds me why I could never be happy makes me look up from my phone.
His face brings back memories. Bad ones. I frown, saying nothing, starting to walk away. Why'd I have to meet him, out of everyone, today?
