Lieutenant and SSA (Emily Prentiss x Reader)

2. Coming home alone

Emily pov - January 10th, 2007

We've done it so many times before. Weather we're both riding off into different sunsets or the other going home to an empty apartment. But it's hard each and every time. It breaks my heart a little every time I have to let go of her hand.

But this is supposed to be the last time. She'd said it. More than once. We'd begun to talk about how we would do things, if we'd move again, if we'd adopt or try IVF.

"Call as often as you can." I say as I refuse to move my arms from around her neck. Her own hands holding still on my hips. I know I should be used to how I feel when we're forced to separate for months at a time. But this... this will be pure hell. Over two years. Alone.

"I will, if you promise to write. I live for your poems." She laughs as a year glimpse in her eye, she leans her head against mine. "Even if I get teased about it."

"I will write all the time, and sometimes even include a picture." It's meant to be seducing, but my voice is laced with tears of my own. Most of the times I even wonder how I'll make it. How I won't die without her touch, kissing her, just generally bring in her vicinity.

"Just..." I don't even know what to say and I can tell that she's trying to hold back tears as well. I take her hand in mine, squeezing it gently. "I'm going to miss you so much," I say, my voice thick with emotion.

"I know," she replies, her voice barely audible. "But I'll be back before you know it. And we'll have so much to catch up on. Our life can begin once again."

I nod, trying to blink back the tears that threaten to spill over at any moment. "I'll be waiting eagerly for your returns. Just promise me you'll be safe. Don't go and be a hero."

She uses her free hand to tuck some lose strands of hair behind my ear. "I promise," she says, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "As long as you promise to do the same."

"I promise," I answer as we let each other go. But just as she's about to turn away to leave, I take her hand and pull her back towards me. We stand there for a long moment, taking each other in, trying to imprint the memory of this moment in our minds. Finally, unable to hold back any longer, I lean in and press my lips to hers.

The kiss starts out sweet and gentle, mixed with the salt of tears, a final goodbye before she departs. But as we hold each other closer, the intensity builds, fuelled by the realisation that we won't be able to touch each other like this again for months. Our tongues dance together in a frenzy, our breaths mingling in the cold winter air that seeps around us in the hanger.

We break apart reluctantly, our foreheads resting against each others as we catch our breath.

"I love you with every fibre of my being," I whisper, barely able to get the words out.

"I love you too, more than words can ever express." Y/n replies, her voice choked with emotion.

So with one last hug, enough to be bone crushing, we let go. And she kisses my temple before starting to head away. Our hands holding until she's too far away and they fall from each other.

I watch her walk towards the buss, and I become left standing with the other spouses and children of her teammates and others. While others start to move to leave, I stand still. Watching the buss until is disappears from my view out into the airfield.

It's not until then that I don't care about the tears on my cheeks as I turn around and making my way back towards my car, feeling the emptiness already seeping into my bones.

***

I unlock the door and step inside our large and empty house in Arlington, feeling a wave of sadness wash over me. It's strange to be back in this space without my wife's presence. Only because it's new. The house feels empty, cold, and quiet. It's as if the walls are echoing my every move. Three months of living here and there are still boxes to unpack.

As I walk deeper into the house, I can see all the items that we have accumulated over the years. The pictures of us laughingly posing in various travel destinations, trinkets from our vacations and road trip, and the abundance of plants we've accrued. But now, they seem lifeless, reminding me of he emptiness surrounding me. They'll probably die now that Y/n isn't there.

I glance out of the living room window, realising it's already dark outside. The streetlights shine brightly, illuminating the quiet street that stretches out before me. I realise that I hadn't even turned on the lights upstairs and make my way up, wanting to be surrounded by the soft comfort of our bed. Where I should be able to find myself in her comfort.

I pause at our bedroom door, taking a deep breath and placing my hand on the doorknob.

"I'm going to miss you so much." I say, knowing my words are only to myself. The furniture looks unfamiliar, devoid of personality without her clothes and belongings strewn about.

With a shake of my head, I quicken my strides towards the closet. I change into one of her jumpers, pulling back the covers and slip underneath them, finding solace in the only familiar scent of my pillow. I bring her pillow into my embrace, feeling the soft scent of her still lingering about. Luckily she'd left her perfume at home, so I'll be able to spray it around the house to make it feel like home without her.

As I close my eyes, I let the tears finally flow freely, knowing that in the morning, this will be my new reality- an empty house during a deployment. Two years and two months. All alone.

This will be the most painful time that I'll ever need to go through. And I will do it alone. Throwing myself into work and nothing more. Like she said, time will move fast, and she'll be back before I know it.