Invisible String (Ransom Drysdale)

Sorry

December in LA is definitely warmer than Boston that was one thing she found strange when she first moved.

Christmas was always one of her favourite holidays, it was like she became a little child all over again. She felt the magic of Christmas and loved seeing kids excited to see what Santa would bring them. She loved the decorations, hot chocolates, gingerbread lattes and snuggling up on cold winter nights.
It was also the one time of year her parents would act like they were a normal family.

But since moving to LA she's lost her love for the holiday, having not really celebrated it for the last 2 years.
The first year is one she wants permanently removed from her brain, while the second one her and Luke had spent drunk and on god knows what drugs.

"What you and Luke doing for Christmas?" Andy asks as they are closing the bar after another busy evening. Christmas was the season of drinking and giving so the tips were always so much better.
"Not sure we haven't really discussed it" Evie shrugs in response "You heading home?" She now asks as she wipes the bar down.

"Yep think my mom would kill be if I didn't come home for Christmas since I worked thanksgiving" Andy laughs "You are more than welcome to join, mom cooks enough to feed the town" she smiles over to Evie.
"Oh no I don't want to intrude on family time, I'm sure Luke's made plans and just forgot to tell me" Evie replies half smiling at Andy for the offer.

"Offers there" Andy throws her hands up on the air before continuing to collect the empty glasses.
"Oh before I forget" Evie says heading to her bag and grabbing a wrapped present.
"Merry Christmas" she smiles handing Andy the gift.
"Thanks Eves, yours is at home swing by tomorrow and grab it" Andy smiles at her.
"Sounds good just text me a time"

Christmas Eve
"So you're just leaving me alone on Christmas" Evie sighs.
"Baby my mom called begging I go home for Christmas, she wants to start making amends for the past" he tries to explain.
"So why can't I come with you?" She now asks.
"I haven't seen my family in 5 years who knows how this is going to go and having some chick rock up with me won't help" he says.

"Some chick wow are you serious" she scoffs shoving past him.
"Evie I didn't mean it like that" he goes to hold her but she moves.
"You know what I can't stop you going to your parents, I just wish I didn't have to be alone" tears form.
"I will be back after New Year's we can do a belated Christmas" he says.
"Wait your not here for New Years either!" she sounds shocked.
"No mums throwing a party she wants me there" he admits.

"Here just take this and go" she says handing his present over.
"I errr didn't get you anything I didn't have time" he strokes the back of his head sheepishly.
"Of course you didn't" she rolls her eyes and goes to head outside to try and calm herself.

"What does that mean" he scoffs in anger.
"Nothing" she sighs in frustration.
"God are you such a spoiled brat you are really upset I didn't get you a present" he now spits.
"A spoiled brat really" she scoffs back at him.
"I will get you something after Christmas" he makes a half heart promise.
"Just go" she goes to barge past him to go to the bedroom but he grabs her arm.

"You should be happy I'm reconnecting with my family" he growls at her.
"I am" she replies wincing as his grip tightens around her arm.
"Let's not fight baby" he pulls her to him "I will miss you" he kisses her before checking the time on his phone "I got a plane to catch, see you soon love you baby" he kisses her again finally letting go of her arm.
"Have fun and Merry Christmas, love you too" Evie half smiles at him before he walks out the door.

Standing alone in her apartment on Christmas Eve she feels alone, lost and broken. Does she look up flights to Boston and go see Harvey and Donna, but she doesn't wanna bring down their Christmas spirit. Also the very last thing she wants to do is run into Ransom and Malibu Barbie.

She needs a stiff drink, heading to the cupboard in search of alcohol.
"Fuck sake" she groans, how does she not have anything in.
Grabbing her coat she heads to the local store which on Christmas Eve is going to be hell.

Funnily enough the shop is packed full of mostly men doing last minute Christmas shopping. Walking straight to the alcohol aisle with her trolley she grabs bottles of wine and whiskey, before heading to the candy aisle picking up a mixture of things. Anyone looking at her trolley would've thought she was having a party.

After loading her shopping haul into the apartment the first thing she does is pour herself a large glass of wine. Bringing the bottle with her as she snuggles on the sofa and loads up a Christmas film.

Half way through the film and well over half a bottle of wine later her phone rings.
"Happy Christmas Eve" she fakes a smiles as she answers the video call from Harvey.
"Happy Christmas Eve I was just calling to check in" his look is a concerned one.
"I'm fine" she is quick to reply.
"It would be understandable if your not" Donna's voice can be heard shouting behind Harvey.

"Guys you don't have to worry about me I'm fine" she sighs.
"The more you say I'm fine makes me think you're not" Harvey looks at her.
"Look I don't mean to be rude but I gotta go, I have plans" she lies and Harvey can see straight through it but says nothing not wanting to push.
"I wish you had come back but I will call you tomorrow" he looks at her sympathetically.
"Speak tomorrow" she replies before hanging up.

Quickly finishing her half empty glass of wine she pours herself another finishing off the bottle. Heading for the second bottle she stands in the kitchen trying to fight off the voices in her head.

"You don't need to revisit the past" She tries to remind herself.

But ultimately the other voice in her head wins after another glass of wine.

Heading to her bedroom closet she pulls a box out that has been hidden at the back for two years. After pulling it out she just sits on the floor and stares at the closed box for ages not having the courage to open it.

Grabbing her phone she starts to look through old photos of her and Ransom. He wasn't one for photos but she forced him to take them with her, and he always replied "only because it's you" and then would pose with her.
She wonders if his fiancé has to force him to take pictures with her.

Fiancé

He has a fiancé who isn't her.
But would things be different if he knew the truth she now thinks.
Of course not why would they be?
No he didn't need to be burdened with that.
He should get his happy ending, even if it's without her.
She's not his problem anymore.

Sitting on the carpet sobbing over all the thoughts that are now running through her mind. The what if situations now playing in her mind.

With her mind racing at 100 miles an hour she decides to send Ransom a simple one word text.
Sorry.

Before sending one to Donna in her drunken state.
It hurts too much.