Found (New Earth Saga)

Ch. 10

"And what were you feeling when you pushed her?" Carol,  my new therapist, asked once again.

I wasn't originally supposed to have a therapy session until the end of the week, however, now that my schedule was free, due to my suspension, Thomas and Blue moved the session to today.

Carol was a petite human woman, almost as short as me. She had jet black hair, almond shaped eyes, and incredibly pale skin. We'd been in the session for almost an hour, and I don't feel like it's helping. Carol is looking for something to be wrong with me, I just know it. I don't need some therapist to show up and tell me that I'm broken. I know I'm broken. I've lived broken all these years, and it's been totally fine.

"I don't know," I replied, because I didn't want to tell her that I'd felt blind fury when Parisa had the nerve to make fun of me.

"Do you think you were getting physical to express yourself? If you were, that would make great sense,"

"No... I really only express myself through art,"

"Right. However, we are going to practice using our words to express ourselves. It's important that you learn to verbalize your emotions,"

"Look, I feel like you're just trying to change who I am," I finally admitted.

"And how does that make you feel?"

"It makes me feel like drawing,"

"And what type of a picture would you draw?"

"What type of picture would YOU draw?" I asked Carol, turning the tables on her.

"River, this is your session. Not mine. You know what I think? I think you are holding a lot of anger right now,"

I wanted to say, "wow good job! What on New Earth could a good luck charm like me be angry about- my whole life being a lie?!".. But instead I didn't say that. I just stared at Carol, with anger burning within me.

"River, you have been dealt a truly unfair hand in all of this. Any feelings you have surrounding what's happened to you are just. What we are going to be working on, is building the tools to help you process and express yourself through this."

Finally a loud alarm blared on the tablet that was timing this session. Longest hour of my life. Carol and I walked out of the guest room, which was really Trent's old room, that we'd been using for the session. Carol joined Blue in the kitchen, probably to tell her how stupid the session went, and I went straight to my room. Thomas went back to work today, so it was just Blue and I at home... kind of like how it was always just Kerry and I. After 10 minutes of me laying in my bed in full blown I'm sad mode, Blue knocked on my door before letting herself in.

"Hey River, how'd it go with Carol?"

"Didn't she just tell you how it went?" I asked, not even making eye contact with Blue. Blue had pulled a chair up to this area, and sat closer to me than she normally did. I felt her lean closer to me, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I'd just given her attitude, probably not the best way to talk to a giantess.

"You have client patient confidentiality. Her and I just set up your next session, and I messaged the boys to coordinate a family session,"

"I don't want to have anymore sessions," I admitted, Sitting up in my bed and looking at Blue for real now. Blue, the woman I swear I used to draw.The woman I used to think was my fairy godmother from a dream.

"That bad, huh?"

"Carol doesn't accept me or the way that I like to express myself," I said, hoping that elaborating would help her understand I'm actually serious.