Found (New Earth Saga)

Ch. 51

If I'd thought I'd experienced loneliness before arriving in Wendleton, I'd been sorely mistaken. There is no loneliness quite like the loneliness you feel after getting a taste of community. After being starved for human connection outside of my m- Kerry, I'd finally made friends my age. More than friends... I like liked Issac. I like liked Jacob. Maybe it all transpired this way so that I could remember who I was?I was never meant to be someone with family and friends, let alone loves. I'm a magnet for bad luck who probably should have never come back into the Reeds' life in the first place. I was raised by Kerry Reddington, and like it or not so much of her still exists within me. Like Kerry, I have lied, manipulated, and caused pain to those around me. Is it only a matter of time before I'm as out of control as Kerry? I hope not.

Concealing everything that is real and true became my only goal over the past week. At home I pretended to be okay, or at least okay enough to appease Blue and Thomas. I think Blue and Thomas liked to pretend that things were alright because the alternative option of facing the reality that they'd longed for the return of their daughter only for me to show up as an emotional disaster, was a disappointing truth to behold. At school I even put on a neutral expression, not wanting to seem too affected by Jacob and Issac's cold shoulder. I started taking my lunch to one of the human bathrooms so no one could see me sitting alone. I did what I've always done, and faded into the background. Perhaps my greatest achievement was concealing my truths from Carol. Following my last therapy session I put on the acting performance of my life and had Carol expressing what great progress I'd made to Blue and Thomas. However,Trent seemed to be the one person who saw through my mask. After all he'd seen me break the moment Issac walked away.

"What happened? River, are you okay?!" Trent had asked as climbed into his hand with a face full of tears. I appreciated the way that Trent always met me where I was emotionally. He didn't force me to answer and did what he could to support. That day Trent had walked me the rest of the way home and had the foresight to pause outside.

"Do you want to go in, or should we wait?" Trent asked.

I decided waiting until I could compose myself and look less splotchy was the best choice. I don't know how long we stood out there but Trent didn't press me to tell him what happened. He just stood by providing a comforting silence that made me feel like maybe I wasn't completely alone in all of this.

Before we finally went inside Trent had shared some advice that I'm still so grateful for. "River, I don't know what all happened, but I do know that that Issac guy doesn't deserve to make you cry. No guy does. The guy who wants to work through things, is a guy who might be worth a d@mn. But if all they do is walk away when things get tough, then they're not the guy for you,"

So far neither Jacob or Issac had made any effort to talk things out. I didn't make any effort either. Does that mean that I'm not meant to be with either? Why am I even asking... I'm probably not meant to be with anyone.

Today I knew I'd have to face at least one of my former friends. Jacob. At least Parisa would also be there. Parisa had continued to be nice to me when I saw her in class. I'd hold onto the positive energy I felt from Parisa today, as it was not the time to bring the energy down. Today was finally Trent and Morgan's wedding.

"River, you look beautiful!" Blue declared, as her face brightened revealing her wonderful smile. Blue looked stunning in her navy blue dress that matched mine. While Blue always tended to have a mixture of braids and twists sprinkled through her hair, she pulled her long dark locks up in a bun full of braids for this special occasion. Thomas wore a navy blue tuxedo that matched the shade that Blue and I wore. Thomas had his long hair pulled back in a low ponytail similar to how I had mine. Between my matching dress with Blue and matching hairstyle with Thomas I felt like I looked like I belonged in the Reed family. Of course anyone could tell I was adopted from the whole me being small enough to fit in their hands, but still, it felt... nice. Blue, Thomas and I were all ready, even though the ceremony wasn't for a while. Apparently we had to be ready early to take pictures or something.