Found (New Earth Saga)

Ch. 31

"You're sure you're okay?" Blue asked for what must have been the 15th time as she sat beside my bed. Thomas had just finally left to get ready for bed himself. They'd both been freaking out over me from the moment Thomas had closed the door.

"Did he hurt you?" Thomas had asked about 10 times. While I was pretty sure I'd have some kind of bruise come morning, I didn't share that. I just said I'd lost my breath from the quick movement. Issac hadn't grabbed me too tight. Plus I'd already been just about panting. Ok- I certainly didn't share that part. I don't think Thomas could handle it.

Thomas appeared to be having a hard time catching his own breath as if the life had been squeezed out of him. When Blue had gestured to carry me he'd refused. I think Thomas was scared- and somehow holding me was giving him comfort? When he held me close to his chest I heard his heart racing. I didn't even know a giant's heart could beat that fast. I felt bad. I didn't want to cause any trouble for Thomas or Blue. If anything I wanted to feel close to them.

Inside, I can somehow verbalize it. I want to feel close. I want a mom, and a dad, and a brother. I want to kiss a boy. I want to stay up late talking with friends. I want the life I would have had if I'd never been taken. The life I might never have because I was in fact taken. I'm not good at this. I'm not meant to have this. Everytime I take a step forward, I trip so that I end up two steps backwards. That is most likely my fate. That is what the Gods have planned for me. I'm not whole.

"River, can I ask you something?" Blue asked, leaning closer to me like she was about to reveal a secret. Then, before she continued, she leapt up and shut my bedroom door. Wait- was Blue about to tell me a secret?! Her face almost looked excited? What was she going to ask?

"Yeah?" I replied, sitting up in my bed and facing Blue completely.

"Was that boy, Issac? You know, the guy you said was taking you to Fall Ball?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my gosh. I didn't realize he was a giant! That's progress right?" Blue replied, her voice rising in pitch. Wait- Blue was basically celebrating. She looked so happy.

"Uh, yeah. I think it is,"

"And you kissed him?!"

"Yes,"

"Oh my gosh? How was it?!"

"Uh. I um... I liked it," I said, feeling kind of embarrassed to say it out loud. A part of me wanted to just grab my notepad and draw my feelings out, but I saw such a sparkle in Blue's eyes. I think we were having a moment. A real mom and daughter moment?

"Have you ever kissed a boy before?" Blue asked on a whisper.

"No,"

"Oh my gosh! River! That was your first kiss?!"

"Uh, Yeah."

"Oh my gosh! I know this has been a crazy night, and your dad is having his own parental melt down over it, but this is so exciting!!!"

Blue had referred to Thomas as my dad, and it made my chest grow tight. I want him to be my dad. I want to feel like he's my dad. I don't even know how it would feel to feel that. If I feel it, how will I even know?

"So he was actually gentle with you?"

"Yeah. He's very gentle in general..."

"And you've been sitting together at lunch?! He sits in the co-ed section then?"

"Yeah. Um, he does now,"

"Oh my gosh, River, this is great. I know it might seem hard to believe, but I was your age once, and I know how exciting it can feel to start to have those moments. Your first kiss! Your first date to a dance! I'm so happy for you,"