| Chapter Twenty - One — Other people |
| suicidal thoughts |
Jeonghan's depressed.
It's not a type of depression that people joke about. He'd been diagnosed— He'd been told by a professional that his head is fucked up and that he's slowly losing his mind with each and every passing day of his life.
He misses Joshua, he hasn't seen him since court.
11 fucking months ago.
It's like he's just disappeared again, like he threw away everything they ever had, dumped it all on the ground for it to lay alone in the rain.
Nobody has really spoken to him besides Seungkwan and.... No— No, that's really just it.
He's grateful.... Grateful that at least one person had the decency to stay in his life, to not run away and completely forget about him.
So here he lies now, hopeless and exhausted as he sinks into the bathroom floor, grip tightening on a bottle of pills he thinks of as his new home, his new place to swim and drown in all at once.
He glances over at the razor next to him, his backup plan already staring at him from afar.
If these pills didn't find their way into his system by the end of the night, he'd have to go for Plan B.
It scared him, it really did— having the courage to run the sharp end of a piece of metal along his skin, have it slice his veins open and take away his life. He wasn't so sure he was brave enough.
He needs help— staring at the 2 options for his planned suicide before him, he realizes he needs help. Serious help.
Jeonghan tosses the bottle so it crashes to the floor, the cap slipping off. He watches the pills roll down the bathroom floor next to the razor.
He's shaking.
It's scary.
He just feels like it doesn't matter. He just needs things to feel better. He wants, he wants—
No, he doesn't know what he wants.
His brain feels like it's on overdrive, his head burning with the impact of each one of his horrible thoughts.
It's like something's telling him to die, but something else keeps begging him to stay.
He doesn't know what to do.
His phone buzzes, he can feel it even through the thick material of his pants.
He sniffles, slipping the device out.
seungkwan can u open the door?
i picked up some food !!
Jeonghan curses under his breath.
Of course out of all days, Seungkwan decided to show up.
Jeonghan feels sick to his stomach, not bothering to respond even though he knows he should.
He tugs his legs to his chest, nauseous.
seungkwan u in the shower or something?
oh it's unlocked
one sec
Jesus Christ.
Jeonghan was not okay.
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The Aged | Gyuhao (Sequel to Youth)
FanfictionMingyu never wanted any of this to happen. Minghao was evil. He had gone insane. He had hurt so many people since he'd last seen him, killed so many souls and taken so many lives Mingyu's sure he's surpassed him in murders. Minghao wasn't Minghao...
