The Aged | Gyuhao (Sequel to Youth)

- 47

| Chapter Forty - Seven — Welcome back, Angel |

Jeonghan's eyes creak open slowly. So slow, he almost feels like he's falling asleep again.

The squeeze of a hand in his own suddenly wakes him again.

Joshua chuckles in relief, sniffling, "Hi, Angel," He greets, resting his lips on their interlaced fingers, "I missed you,"

Jeonghan doesn't know what to say.

This was—

It was supposed to work.

He never thought he'd have to see this face again, any faces again. It's haunting— knowing that everybody knows what he tried to do.

"Don't," Joshua can read him like an open book. It used to be something they always joked about.

He misses it. He misses it so much.

The old days.

They were so... so...

Amazing.

"I'm here. I'm here now," Joshua tells him, "You can scream and yell at me later, but for now, very selfishly, I'm asking you to let me hold you in this moment," Joshua swallows, "I've never been so scared in my life and I want to take this all in, if that's okay,"

Jeonghan doesn't say anything, just averts his eyes awkwardly.

"And—" Joshua bites his lip, "I'll fill you in. On everything," He promises, "Within time, you will know everything, okay? I never want to keep secrets from you, not anymore. Please forgive me and let me show you I've changed,"

"That's just it," Jeonghan's throat is scratchy, "I don't want you to change. I never wanted that. I want him back— I want my old Shua back," He closes his eyes, slipping his hand away, "Please leave,"

Joshua blinks in shock, "W-What?"

"Please go," Jeonghan hugs himself, his heartbeat monitor ringing through his ears like gunshots, "I can't do this right now. Come back, maybe? I don't know..."

Joshua looks away, folding his lips together to hold a sob and he hates it.

Joshua hates how he's making this all about himself when someone he loves so dearly had just woke up, and he hates how he is near tears right now when Jeonghan's asking for a simple favor like this.

"Can you get Seungkwan?" Jeonghan asks, face still blank, "I... have to speak to him,"

It hurts like hell, it really does, but Joshua casts a smile over his face, it molds into an expression he can only hope isn't demonic looking, "Of course," He pats Jeonghan's bed, pulling up the blankets, "Um—" He stands, "I-I'll see you?"

Jeonghan doesn't meet his eyes, "Guess so,"

He won't hold his breath.

Joshua leaves.

A minute later, a bright ball of sunshine walks in the room.

"Hi, hyung," Seungkwan sits where Joshua once did, smiling down at Jeonghan.

Jeonghan closes his eyes, pained, "I'm sorry,"

Seungkwan, taken aback, widens his eyes, "Sorry? What for?"

Jeonghan blinks up at him, "I scared you," He says, "I know I did. You're the one who found me for Christ's sake, I'm so sorry—"

"Hey, hey—" Seungkwan shakes his head, hand lying on top of Jeonghan's in hopeful comfort "Don't apologize. It's everybody else's fault for not being there," He sighs, "And all that matters is that you're okay,"

Jeonghan frowns, "I just felt like I didn't matter, y'know?" He sniffles, "Like every other person in my life didn't care and left me alone when that was the last thing I ever needed," He sobs, "I felt like wanting someone else around was the biggest inconvenience when it's literally the bare minimum," He says, "I-Is it that bad to want somebody to love me?"

"Hyung, I love you," Seungkwan tells him, "And so does Chan, Soon, Junhui, Shua, Hao— I could go on and on," He squeezes Jeonghan's hand tighter, "Okay?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I guess," Jeonghan responds, biting his lip, "I'm sorry—"

"Stop apologizing," Seungkwan says again, "Your life is the most beautiful gift the sky could have ever given you and that's what means the most. You've even gained an entire group of people around you that would kill for you. And literally kill for you,"

Jeonghan's brows twist, "What does that mean?"

Seungkwan's eyes widen, as if he himself were surprised he had just said that, "W-Well, I, uh—" He swallows, looking around awkwardly, "You know, u-uh—" He chuckles, looking out the window, "Isn't the sky lovely today—"

"You're terrible at hiding things," Jeonghan sighs, shrugging, "Tell me what's up,"

Seungkwan folds his lips together, closing his eyes so he doesn't have to look into Jeonghan's because god he would spill.

He is such an idiot, such an idiot.

"Kwan-ah?" Jeonghan urges.

"Shua's in a gang,"

Well, fuck.

He was gonna find out sooner or later.

Jeonghan sits up, "What?!"

"Y-Yeah, remember that day in court? He said he had drugged Hao and—"

"He's in a gang?!"

He we go.